When Your Role isn't over sequel to Demon Prophec
by spikes-love-45
Summary: Five years after Spike's death Buffy is still morning after his death. William Sutherland is trying to find his past after five years of dreams and visions. When they meet sparks fly but when the past is revealed what will happen between them.
1. Default Chapter

When Your Role Isn't Over

A/N: I hope everyone forgave me for the first one. But this story picks up five years later. Please tell me what you think. 

Chapter 1

_"She sure is beautiful, love," Spike said as he wrapped his arms around Buffy as they watched Amber play on the swings. Buffy leaned back and smiled. _

_"She sure is. She looks so much like you," Buffy whispered as she felt her heart start to ache. _

_"Buffy, will you put me out?" Spike asked. Buffy moved away from him as he went up in smoke. _

_"NO!" Buffy screamed, and then started crying. _

Buffy sat up with a jolt. Her heart was pounding against her chest. Her eyes blurred with tears and her brow was damp with perspiration. She covered her face as she began to weep. Buffy felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned, hoping it was Spike and that it was all a bad dream. Instead, she saw Angel, lying on the bed with her. Her hopes were shattered and she began to cry harder. Angel took her into his arms as she continued to cry from yet another one of her nightmares. 

The connecting door to her room opened, and a tiny child stood in the doorway rubbing her eyes. She looked concerned, as she watched, as Angel held her crying mother. 

"Uncle Angel, what's wrong with mommy?" the little girl asked as she walked closer to the bed. 

Buffy pulled away from Angel, and wiped her face. She picked up her daughter and held her close. 

"I'm fine, baby. I just had a bad dream that's all," Buffy said softly. 

The little girl wrapped her arms her mother. 

"Mommy, was the dream about daddy?" the little girl asked. 

Buffy kissed her daughters head. 

"Yes, sweetie," Buffy answered simply, as she closed her eyes as tears started to fill again. 

"Amber, why don't I read you a little story while your mommy goes and gets freshened up," Angel suggested. 

Amber nodded and got off her mothers lap. She went into her room. 

"Angel, let me read to her. I need some time," Buffy suggested and she got out of bed. 

"Are you sure?" Angel asked. 

Buffy nodded and walked into her daughter's room. She closed the door behind her. Her daughter was already in bed. Buffy pulled the blankets up and tucked her in nice and snug. She kissed her daughters forehead. 

"Mommy, where is daddy?" Amber asked with her big blue eyes. 

Buffy's heart ached so much she thought she was going to die. She took a ragged breath and looked at Amber. 

"Your Daddy is gone Amber," Buffy said simply trying not to cry. 

Amber's small features saddened. 

"When is daddy coming back?" Amber asked softly. Her big blue eyes big full of tears. 

"Baby, he won't be coming back," Buffy answered as her throat began to swell. 

Amber started crying and Buffy scooped her up in her arms. She rocked her back and forth. Both of them were crying for the man one loved, and the other, wishing she knew. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

William Sutherland stared out the window, wondering what his life had been like, before five years ago. He had no memory of what his life before then. He only knew that he had waked up in a hospital, and was told his name William Sutherland. He did research for his past, but always ended up with a dead end. He was alone. He felt like he would always be alone. 

"Why did I move to Sunnydale?" William asked himself. 

He wondered why he was drawn to the little town. He had bought a small house that sat by the water. He had his own beach and he enjoyed sitting on the porch and watching the sunrise. He didn't know why, but he valued the sun. It was as if he hadn't seen it in a hundred years. 

William looked over at the table that sat by the wall, across the wooden interior room. He got up, walked over to the table, and picked up a drawing book.

A drawing of a woman sat on the open page; the woman who haunted his dreams, she was his dream angel. The woman who showed him love and compassion, the woman who made him feel complete, while he slept. 

When he would wake up, he would feel empty inside and wonder why he even existed. William sighed, and placed the drawing book down and wandered over to the fireplace and started a fire. He gazed into the fire. An imaged flashed before him, an exploding building. He shuttered it off, it made no sense, but it was all he could remember. 

"I have to find out what the woman, and the explosion have in common, or if they are even connected," William whispered to himself. 

He'd never felt lonelier, than he did at that moment. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy woke up to feel the bed bouncing. She groaned and refused to open her eyes. She didn't want to face another day without Spike. Of course, she had to go on living for Amber, and for Spikes memory. 

"Come here, munchkin," Angel said as he grabbed Amber by the waist. 

Amber let out a squeal. Buffy smiled, as she opened her eyes. She licked her lips and ran her fingers through her daughter's long blonde hair.

"Uncle Angel, why do you sleep in mommy's bed?" Amber asked, as she gazed with innocence in her eyes. 

"Amber, I'm here to keep your mommy safe, from the sad dreams," Angel said with a smile. 

He scooped up Amber and got out of bed. 

"Come on, kiddo. I'll make you pancakes," Angel said as he winked at Buffy then headed out of the room. 

Buffy threw off the covers and got out of the bed. She walked over to drawer under her closet and got out a box of photos. She pulled them out and smiled. Spikes face was smiling back at her. She picked up one of Spike, and she when they'd went to the park. She was only 5 months pregnant with Amber. Spike was smiling like crazy and had his hand on her stomach. She traced his features, with her finger, longing just to hold him once more and knowing it could never be.

She let out a sigh and decided to bring out the photos again. There wasn't a reason for them to be hidden from view, especially from Amber. She deserved to see a picture of her father. 

Buffy got up and walked over to her nightstand, to put on her necklace, which had her wedding & engagement rings on it. Her gaze went over to the wedding photo. He looked so beautiful. He looked so happy. 

"God I miss you, William," Buffy whispered painfully, before putting on her housecoat and heading downstairs. 

When she entered the kitchen, Dawn was walking in through the backdoor. She smiled and walked over to Buffy's daughter, and she kissed her on the head. 

"Well, I can't believe a vampire is up this early," Dawn said, stunned looking at Angel cook. 

Angel rolled his eyes then placed a pancake on Amber's plate. 

"Mommy, can I be a vampire?" Amber asked with her mouth full. 

"NO!" Angel, Buffy, and Dawn answered in unison. 

Amber started to pout. Buffy put her cup of coffee down and walked over to Amber. 

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Buffy apologized then kissed her daughter on the forehead. 

Amber sighed. 

"Then why can I get the lumpies?" Amber asked. 

Dawn almost spat out her orange juice trying not to laugh. She looked over at Angel, who had a concerned expression on his face. 

"What do you mean lumpies?" Angel asked seriously. 

Amber shrugged and went into game face. Angel stared at her, more than a little shocked. Buffy's breath caught in her throat, and Dawn yelped when she saw it.

Amber shifted back to her normal face, revealing her saddened features. Her eyes threatened to release tears. Buffy finally started breathing again and walked slowly over to her daughter. 

"Sweetie, how long have you able to do that?" Buffy asked soothingly. 

"Since I was thwee," Amber answered. "Mommy, I can't get down."

Buffy picked Amber up and put her down. She scrambled off. Dawn followed her as Buffy walked over to Angel.

"I can't believe this," Buffy said softly. 

Angel wrapped his arm around her. He nodded. 

"I thought Spike was human when you guys….well….you know," Angel said awkwardly. 

Buffy rolled her eyes and stepped away from him. 

"Angel, you're 250 years old and you still can't say the word, sex," Buffy complained. 

Angel shrugged.

"I'm going to go to bed. I'll see you before sunset," Angel said heading towards the basement door. 

"I'm going to take Amber to the park today. Just incase we aren't back by the time you get up," Buffy informed him. 

Angel nodded. 

"Taking her shopping afterwards?" asked Angel 

Buffy shook her head. 

"Not this week. I just want to make sure she's all right especially after last night. I was thinking of taking her to her father's grave" 

"I don't know Buffy. It seems a little much for a child especially a five year old."

Buffy nodded. 

"I think maybe Ill talk to Giles and see what he says. I just wish I knew what I could do. I knew that she would want to know about her father one day, but I didn't know it was going to be so soon. It breaks my heart knowing she will never know how wonderful he was, or how protective he was of her, or us for that fact."

"It still hurts doesn't it?" asked Angel

Buffy nodded. 

"Every day, it gets harder and harder to live. The longer I'm without him the longer I feel empty and I wish I could bring him back, but with no body or remains there isn't a way for me to bring him back."

Angel looked down at the floor. He had a certain feeling inside, he didn't want to tell Buffy, but at that moment, he just couldn't resist. 

"Buffy, what if Spike isn't dead?" Buffy stared wide-eyed at him. 

"What?" she asked.

"What if Spike isn't dead? They never found his body or remains. We all assume he's dead, but what if he did get out."

"No. William would've have came back to me. He refused to leave our sides. He told me they would have to knock him unconscious and give him amnesia before he let…" Her eyes filled with tears. 

"Buffy, what if the government was trying to cover up suggested Angel."

"NO! Angel, just stop. Don't give me false hopes. Aren't I the one who's supposed to think up these things? Aren't I supposed to be in denial?"

Angel looked down again. 

"I'm not in denial, Buffy. They're not false hopes, but you're right. You are the one who is supposed to be suggesting these things, but it doesn't mean that you can deny the possibilities."

"Angel, just stop! Please." Buffy held her hand up. 

Her heart was aching to the point she thought about ripping it out. 

"Buffy…."

"No. Just don't say anymore on the subject. If Amber hears you talking about it, she will think it's possible too. I won't put her through that pain. I have enough pain for both us and I would to keep it that way."

"Buffy, you have to let go one day," said Angel

"Well today isn't the day I let go. I will never let go of him, Angel. I will never be able to love another. Not as long as I know, Spike died trying to save us. His memory and his daughter are all I have left."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

William walked down the busy Sunnydale Street. He felt a certain familiarity. He felt like he knew the city, but he didn't have a memory of the place. He sighed. 

He wasn't watching where he was going and he accidentally bumped into someone. He looked up stunned. 

"I'm sorry, mate," William apologized. 

The man looked up and stared at William for a second. 

"I'm sorry too," The man said. 

William studied him. He looked like he was in his mid-fifties. He had glasses and he had a British accent. 

"I'm William Sutherland," William introduced extending his hand. 

The man took the offered hand and it and shook. 

"I'm Rupert Giles," the man replied. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I can't seem to get a hold of him," Buffy complained. 

Dawn sat at the island drinking her juice. 

"I knew, we should have got him a cell phone for Christmas," Dawn said in an 'I told you so' voice. 

"Dawn," Buffy said in a warning tone.

Dawn sat back in her chair and stared at the island. 

"I saw you put up pictures of Spike back up. What made you change you mind about keeping them hidden?" Dawn said in a conversational tone. 

"Amber knows her father isn't coming back so I figured why hide them from her. It wouldn't be fair to her." 

"Buffy, Angel told me that you are taking Amber to Spikes grave."

"Yeah, I was planning on it, but I'm going to ask Giles if it's the best idea."

"Can I come with you?" asked her sister. 

"Of course, Dawn. Why would you ever ask?"

"Because it seemed like a mother and daughter thing." Buffy walked over to Dawn and took her into an embrace. 

"Dawn, we are a family. You can always go to Williams's grave with even asking. He was your brother-in-law and best friend."

"Buffy, I miss him."

"I know, Dawn. I miss him too."

*~*~*~*~*~*

William and Giles walked into the magic shop. William followed Giles to the lower level of the shop. He sat down at the round table. 

"So you have no memory of what your life was like five years ago?" Giles asked. 

"I have two things, which may hold the key to my past. A blonde haired woman and an explosion," William answered. 

Giles leaned against the counter his look distant. His memory of the night his sons death, he still could see the building going up in smoke and the sound of Buffy and Dawn, weeping. They all hated the memory of that night; it was like the night Buffy died. 

"Hey, are you all right?" William asked getting up from the table and placing a hand on Giles's shoulder. 

Giles shook off the bad memories. 

"Fine. Just a flash back to my son's death," Giles said absently. 

William looked down. 

"I'm sorry."

"What? Oh, it was a while ago. His wife was like a daughter to me. He really wasn't my son. He was my adopted son, but he was a son nonetheless."

"Well, I'm still sorry. It must be hard," Said William 

"It's probably as hard as not knowing anything about your past."

The bell on the door rang and both men turned. They saw Dawn, Buffy, and Amber walk into the shop. Amber let go of Buffy's hand and ran to Giles. 

"Grandpa Giles!" Amber yelled as she jumped into his arms. 

He smiled at the little girl. 

"Hello, Amber," Giles greeted. 

He kissed her tiny forehead. Buffy walked up next to Giles. 

"Giles….."

"Grandpa, I can do lumpies just like Uncle Angel can," Amber interrupted. 

"Amber, what did I say about interrupting," Buffy said in a warning tone. 

"Sorry, Mommy," Amber apologized. 

Amber looked over at William. 

"Who's he?" Amber asked pointing at William. 

Buffy looked at William. 

He had bright blue eyes that had small round glasses and soft brown hair. He had a casual blue tee shirt and blue jeans. 

"Whom," Giles corrected. 

Amber rolled her eyes and squirmed a little in his arms. He put her down and she ran over to Dawn. 

"I'm William Sutherland," William introduced himself, extending his hand.

Buffy shook it and smiled. 

"I'm Buffy Win….Summers," Buffy replied. 

William eyed Buffy. She looked like the woman in his dreams, except slightly older and more beautiful. 

"My pleasure to meet you," William said, as he took her hand and kissed it. 

Buffy blushed. Dawn looked up and yelped. Everyone turned to her.

"Spike?" Dawn asked. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

All of the color fled from Buffy's face. It was almost as if her heart had ceased beating. William looked at the younger girl in confusion. Giles let out a sigh as Buffy leaned back against the counter. 

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" William asked. 

Dawn studied William for a second. He looked so much like Spike. The only thing that was different was that he wore glasses and he had brown hair. 

"William, please excuse my sister. She is still mourning over the death of my husband," Buffy said awkwardly. 

William looked over at Giles. 

"Your Husbands name was Spike?" William asked stunned and little amused. 

That a beautiful woman could be married to someone who sounded like a biker was very amusing to him. 

"Actually, his name was…. William," Buffy answered softly. 

Buffy felt herself dying inside all over again as she looked at the stranger. He was like looking at a ghost. She was afraid. _Spike had died in that explosion five years ago, and no amount of dreaming was ever going to bring him back_, she told herself firmly. 

William looked at her confused. 

"You don't have to tell me about him. It's quite all right," William offered. 

He could see by her face that it was still a very painful subject even after all this time. Buffy stared at him blankly. 

"William, my sons name was William," Giles explained. 

"Wait a minute. His name is William," Dawn said, jumping into the conversation. 

"Dawn, that's rude," Buffy whispered harshly. 

Williams head was starting to hurt. It always happened when he tried to remember. He walked over to the table and sat down.

Amber walked up to William and stared at him intently with her big blue eyes. She climbed up on to the bench and sat next William. 

"William, Where are your mommy and daddy?" Amber asked softly. 

"I don't know exactly," William answered. 

He smiled at the little girl.

"Dawn, what makes you so sure its Spike?" Buffy asked softly. 

Giles shook his head thinking of everything. 

"Buffy, think about it. Spike has been gone for five years. This guy hasn't remembered things for five years. Buffy…" Dawn began.

"No, Dawn stop! It can't be Spike," Buffy said firmly. 

Giles looked over at William, who was talking to Amber. 

"Why can't it be?" Dawn asked in a whining voice. 

"Because if it was, then William would be able to hear our whole conversation right now," Buffy answered. 

As if on cue, William got up and walked over to the rest of group with Amber in his arms. He dunked her and she squealed with delight. Buffy smiled watching William with her. Too many what ifs were raising their ugly heads in her mind, as she watched William play with her daughter.

"Rupert, I'm going to head home. Thanks for the coffee. I hope we can talk again soon," William said as he put down Amber. 

"Ok, William. It was a pleasure meeting you. Let's talk tomorrow," Giles said a little stunned. 

He understood that the other man was feeling uncomfortable and out of place. 

"William, would you at least like to come over to my house for dinner… well unless you have other plans," Buffy offered. 

William smiled. 

"Actually I don't know any one here so I wouldn't make plans. Rupert, I take it you going?" William asked, taking the offer. 

"I will be there," Giles answered. 

William nodded, satisfied.

"Then count me in," William agreed. 

Buffy smiled back at the new man. 

"Would you like to come with us to the park?" Buffy asked. 

Dawn looked over at her stunned. This was so unlike Buffy to show interest in any of the opposite sex since Spike had died. _Maybe she finally decided to move on with her life_, thought Dawn.

"Consider us the welcome wagon." Dawn tried not to smile. 

"I would like that," William agreed. 

"I'll be outside while you finish things up." He turned and walked out of the shop, needing a few minutes alone to think.

"Over welcome much?" Dawn asked. 

Buffy rolled her eyes and turned towards Giles. 

"I do have something to ask you," Buffy began. 

Amber tugged on her shirt. 

"Mommy lets go. I want to play with Willie," Amber whined. 

Buffy looked down and got to her daughters eye length. 

"Sweetie, what did I say about patience? Besides, we don't know him well enough yet. You'll have to wait a moment," said Buffy. 

"That you will get what you wanted sooner, when you wait," Amber said half-heartedly. 

Buffy smiled ran her fingers through her daughter's hair. 

"That's right. Now I have some things to talk to Grandpa Giles about and need my good girl to wait a little bit," Buffy said with a soothing tone. 

Amber looked disappointed and nodded. 

"I'll take her outside and we can talk to William," Dawn offered. 

Buffy straightened up. 

"Thank you," Buffy said with a grateful smile. 

Dawn took Amber by the hand and she led her out of the shop. Buffy sighed and turned to Giles. 

"It's been hard to raise her alone, having to be the mommy and the daddy," Buffy said, with pain in her eyes.

"Buffy, you aren't alone. You have Angel, Dawn, and me," Giles reminded. 

Buffy shook her head. 

"I know that, but it still feels like I'm doing it alone. I feel like, if Spike were still around, maybe she wouldn't be such a handful," said Buffy. 

Giles nodded and put his hand on her shoulder. 

"You're doing a fine job raising her," Giles said with sincerity in his eyes. 

"Thanks, that means a lot coming from you. I wanted to ask you something," said Buffy. 

"Sure, what's on your mind?" asked Giles.

"Do you think it would be too dramatic to take Amber to her fathers grave?" Buffy asked.

Giles frowned as he considered his answer.

"I don't think it's too much for her," Giles answered. "I think its time for her to see her father's grave." 

Buffy hugged, Giles. 

"Do you want to come with?" Buffy asked, as she pulled back. 

"I think…" Giles began. 

"Giles, you're family. I think this counts as a family time," Buffy interrupted. 

Giles sighed and nodded. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy pulled Amber close as they neared the cemetery. Giles and Dawn following close behind with flowers. William was lagging behind. He felt uncomfortable, as if he were intruding on this family's grief. Dawn had persuaded him to come with them. 

"William, stop being such a slow poke," Dawn, said with a small smile. 

William looked up as saw them waiting for him at the entrance. He picked up his pace and raced up to them. 

"I don't think I feel right about being here," William said uneasily. "This is a family thing and….well….I'm not family."

Buffy gave him a sad smile. 

"Until you get your memory back, you will be considered a part of the group and that means family," Buffy said firmly. "Now stop whining and being all proper."

Buffy turned and headed off to the left. She stopped suddenly.

"Buffy, what is it?" Dawn asked.

Buffy pointed to a crypt. More specifically, Spikes crypt. 

"I want to show Amber his crypt," Buffy whispered to her. 

Dawn shook her head. 

"Not now. Let's wait till she's a little older," Dawn suggested. 

Both girls looked at the crypt once more and saw William walking towards at a slow pace. 

"William, what is it?" Giles asked following behind. 

William kept walking. He opened the crypt door, the hinges protested with a loud squeak.

"I've seen this place before," William whispered. 

It was loud enough for Giles to hear. 

"How…" Giles began then shut his mouth. The list of coincidences was starting to get long. 

"I've seen it in my dreams with my dream girl standing in here," William said slowly. 

Giles crossed his arms and shook his head. 

"William, could it be possibly that you lived here?" Giles asked. 

William turned at him and raised his brow. For the first time ever, Buffy noticed his scarred brow. Her breath caught in her throat. She felt herself grow faint, as she looked William, really looked at him, for the first time since she's met him.

"Mommy, what's wrong? Amber asked as she tugged on Buffy's hand. 

Her daughters question brought her back to the present. She was afraid to let herself hope, that maybe it could be her William. There was more at stake than her own feelings. She had her daughters to consider too. Buffy blanked the possibilities out of her mind, refusing to believe anything, than what her mind told her.

"Its…uh…nothing, sweetie," Buffy answered slowly. 

William looked at Buffy. 

"Am I going into dangerous territory?" William asked. 

Buffy shook off her concentration on him. 

"No," Buffy answered simply. "Let's get out of here before night fall."

A cold shiver ran down her spine, at the memories of long ago.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy sat on the couch with Angel. Amber was upstairs taking her nap while Dawn finished her homework. Buffy felt uneasy. After all these years, there was a possibility that Spike was back. He wasn't dead and that he only had amnesia. 

"Angel, I need you to explain one thing to me," Buffy said looking over at him. 

Angel looked at her seriously. 

"That thing would be what exactly?" Angel asked. 

Buffy stayed quiet for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. 

"How did you know Williams was alive?" Buffy asked. 

Angel acted surprised, but Buffy didn't buy it. 

"What he's..." Angel stopped and looked at Buffy. 

Her arms were crossed and she looked annoyed.

"Ok, I was patrolling and I decided to take a walk at the beach. I saw a guy that looked like him sitting on his porch sketching. He looked lost and confused. As I got closer I recognized him. I just thought maybe I was seeing things, but something clicked in my head saying that maybe Spike actually could be alive," Angel explained. 

"I would be in denial again, but I think he might be alive," Buffy said softly. "I find there are certain things about him that brings memories of Spike back. There is something about this guy that makes my heart stop."

"Buffy could it be possible that you are falling for this guy?" Angel asked. 

Buffy looked wide-eyed at Angel. 

"ARE YOU NUTS!" Buffy practically yelled. 

Angel rubbed his ears and looked at Buffy seriously. 

"Buffy, just breathe. I was only saying. He's coming over tonight right?" Angel asked. 

Buffy nodded. 

"You invited him over when the whole gang is coming over?" Angel asked. Buffy nodded again, slowly, then gasped. 

"Oh, everyone is going to freak when they see him. The poor guy is going to be called Spike all night," Buffy said as her voice became lower. 

Angel rubbed her shoulder. 

"I have to…." Buffy began, but was cut off by a knock on the door. 

She got up and answered the door. 

"Too late," Buffy whispered to herself, as she saw William standing at the door. 

"Hey," William put up a hand in greeting.

Buffy smiled and moved out of the way. 

"I know I'm early, but I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time to get here, incase I couldn't find it."

"It's really no problem," Buffy said with a fake smile. 

Someway or another William managed see right through her. 

"What's wrong?" William asked. 

Buffy stared at him blankly. 

"Nothing is wrong," Buffy answered a little stunned. William took off his coat and placed it on the coat rack. 

"No, I sense that something is wrong," William said crossing his arms. 

His eyes were boring into her. It was like having Spike again. He was being so demanding. 

"If there was something, which there isn't, what makes you think I would tell you?" Buffy asked looking at him as demanding. 

William shrugged.

"I just figured it's a proper to let a guest know if there was something wrong so they can help," William answered. 

He turned and walked into the living room. Buffy stared at him and shook her head. She let out a hard sigh. 

"God, you're cocky," Buffy said harshly walking after him. 

Her arms were at her sides now. He stared at her. 

"I am not cocky, Ms. I-want-to-be-control," William said back. 

Buffy glared at him. 

"It's my job to be in control. I have to keep this stupid world from caving in."

William smirked and raised his scarred eyebrow. 

"Oh yeah, and how can you really protect it, when you are raising the kid and the teeny bopper." 

Buffy rolled her eyes. 

"Its called multi-tasking, William. I think you need to learn the skill of being a house guest," snapped Buffy.

Dawn and Angel stood in the background, both of them shocked, watching the two squabble. Dawn couldn't fight back a smile and Angel looked stunned. She couldn't figure out if it was because William looked like Spike or because of the connection between William and Buffy. 

"Talk about sexual tension," Dawn whispered to Angel. 

He smirked and shook his head. 

"It's Spike. I can tell you that much," Angel whispered to Dawn. 

Dawn looked back at William with her big eyes, 

"You think?" Dawn asked trying not to cry. 

"Yeah, I have seen him as William. It's Spike. The man is alive," Angel whispered as he had sense of pride knowing his grand childe was alive. 

Dawn bit back her tears of happiness. She turned and ran upstairs bursting into tears. Angel followed her. 

"Dawn, are you all right?" Angel asked walking into Dawns room. She wiped her face. 

"He's alive, Angel. After five long years, we find out he's alive, but he doesn't remember a thing," Dawn said with a sad smile. 

"We have to help him, Angel. We just have to."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy stood in front of William. Her eyes were burning into his. He was glaring right back at her. Their faces were merely inches from one another. Both could feel each others breath. 

"I think you should back off, Summers," William whispered huskily. 

Buffy got closer to him. 

"Maybe, I don't want to," Buffy replied. 

She meant it to sound threatening, but it sounded weak. Her eyes darted back and forth as she stared into his eyes. _God those eyes_, Buffy thought. _Only one person had those eyes and he was mine_. 

"You should back off soon or I might do something we both will regret," William whispered. 

Buffy licked her lips. 

"Yeah and that would be?" Buffy asked, closing the space between them. 

"This," William said with his voice barely over a whisper. 

He crushed his lips to hers. Buffy instantly felt weak in the knees. William wrapped his arms around her as their lips continued to dance together. Buffy felt the familiar spark between them. She wrapped her arms his neck to pull him closer. 

William pulled back and rested his forehead against hers as they both gasped for air. Williams's eyes were still closed as he could still taste her lips. 

"Wow," Buffy whispered. 

William opened his eyes, greeted by two big green ones staring back at him. They showed lust, surprise, and joy. 

"I'm sorry, Buffy, I'm not normally this forward, or at least I don't think I am," William said sincere and a bit surprised. 

Buffy reached up and ran her fingers through Williams brown tossed curls. 

"William, I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to," Buffy assured him. 

He looked at her and shook his head. 

"I just met you. It's not right for me to just kiss you without knowing you," William said walking backwards. 

Buffy stared at him stunned. 

"William, it isn't like we had sex. It was just a harmless kiss," Buffy said soothingly. 

She was a little freaked, but she hadn't expected him to freak out, especially this bad. 

"You're the first person I've kissed in five years Buffy," William said seriously. "Do you expect me to be all right with this? Do you expect me to feel all right with these sudden feelings for you? I can't do that. You're beautiful, strong, and sophisticated. I don't know anything about my past. I don't know if I'm married and have a kid out there. I might have loved ones wondering if I'm dead. Let's not add that you are obviously still mourning over your late husband."

Buffy stared at him with tears welling in her eyes. She, suddenly, knew how Spike felt like; when she'd shut him out in the past. 

"You lost your memory five years ago. My husband has been gone for five years. They never found his body or the remains of him. They said it was like he just vanished," Buffy began. 

She stopped, as the memory of the cops telling her that there was no chance of survivors, five long years ago, as she had silently wept. 

"Buffy…" William said weakly. 

"Everyone thinks you are my husband. I hate to say that, but it is true. You look identical to him except for the black clothes and the bleached blonde hair. William, please you are my lost hope of thinking that my husband is alive, we have to at least try to discover if it's true," Buffy begged as tears came flowing out of her eyes. 

William held his breath. 

"I don't think I can do that, Buffy," William said looking down. 

Buffy walked over to him and pushed his face up with index finger. Her face was tear-streaked, but she was surprised to see so was his. 

"It might actually help your past. What have you got to lose?" Buffy whispered. 

His blue eyes filled with more tears. Buffy felt the urge to kiss him, but fought against it. 

"I…I need to think this over," William said softly. 

He pushed away from her and grabbed his coat. 

"I'm sorry I won't be staying for dinner," William put on his coat and left. 

Buffy stared at the closed door. Her eyes filled with tears. 

"William, come back to me," Buffy whispered to no one. 

She fell to her knees crying. She wished she hadn't been so forward. 

A/N: Ok so things are running faster then I had intended to be but at least it creates a great dramatic chapter. Stupid joke I know. I'm intending for things to slow down and focus on the whole William and Amber relationship. I figured it's time to take away from the Buffy and William relationship because if I continue in this rate I will probably be done in four more chapters. We don't want a very little sorry now do we?  No. So I will try my hardest the romantic person I am to drag out the relationship. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Angel walked down the stairs and he winced as he heard banging of pots and pans. He sensed something wasn't right. He walked over to the kitchen and heard an erratic heart beat. Angel stood in the doorway and watched as Buffy sniffed and slammed down pots on the counter. 

"Hey what's with all the racket?" Angel asked with a smirk. 

Buffy looked over at him with red eyes. 

"Angel, I'm not in the mood for your annoying games," snapped Buffy. 

Angel looked at her, concerned. 

"What happened, Buffy?" asked Angel as he sat down at the island. 

She closed her eyes not wanting to cry in front of Angel, even if she had done it a thousand times before. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

William walked down to the beach, letting the wind toss his hair. His thoughts traveled to the conversation he'd had with Buffy, an hour earlier. She wanted him to be her husband. 

"I can't replace a loved one," William said to no one. 

He looked over at the dark water. He stared at the full moon and looked up at the stars. 

"Are the stars speaking to you, my little Willie?" a cool soothing English accent said from behind him. "They are speaking to me." 

William turned around and looked at the woman with long dark hair wearing a black and red dress. 

"Do I know you?" William asked feeling uneasy. 

She looked at him and starting to make a puppy cry noise.

"Miss. Edith said you were with no mind, but I punished and made her miss her favorite kill," said the mysterious woman. 

"What….Please I'm in no mood to try and remember you. Just go away," William, said irritatedly rubbing his sore head. 

"My Spike is all upset. She is still around you, Spike. She is still laughing," the woman said. 

"Look, woman who ever you are…." 

"DRUSILLA!" Angel hissed stalking over to them. 

"Angelus, you still have you soul. The slayer is around you too," said the mysterious woman. 

Angel growled. 

"Drusilla, get out of here. You don't belong here and leave this man alone. He is nothing to do with you any more," Angel said in a warning tone.

"But Angelus…" 

"NO BUTS! GET OUT OF HERE!" Angel yelled. 

The woman pouted and took one last look William then left. 

Angel turned and looked at William. He could tell William was a little shaken up, not just by the encounter with Drusilla. 

"Who was that?" asked William. 

"Her name is Drusilla," said Angel. 

William looked at Angel. 

"Aren't you that man at Buffy's house?" asked William. Angel put his arm around William. 

"We need to chat about so many things," Angel said. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy sat in the living room, staring blankly at the television as Dawn talked to Willow and Tara about her college classes. Buffy's mind kept going back to William and the pain of knowing she was pushing her luck. 

She couldn't understand why she'd rushed things. She had put not only her happiness up for grabs, but she also had put Amber's and Dawn's in jeopardy too. She hated herself for it. She had no right to do it. She had just met William and he looked like he was lost as she was when she'd come back to life. 

_Damn! Spike would never be so forward with me if I'd lost my memory. He would have stuck it out and helped how ever he could. Why can't I do that with him?_ Buffy thought, then the logical grown up mother voice kicked in. 

_Who said it was Spike in the first place? Think of Amber, Buffy. She will be hurt if this thing with William doesn't work out. You can't deal with anymore pain. It's time you give up and move on._

Buffy felt her heart ache knowing the truth and not wanting it. He had died to save their lives, but….it wasn't right. Her life was truly doomed. She was never meant to be happy. She felt tears well in her eyes. 

"I'm going for a walk," Buffy said out of the blue. 

All three girls looked up at Buffy stunned. 

"Are you all right? You look a little pale," Willow, asked concerned. Buffy licked her lips. 

"If Amber wakes up because of a dream or whatever, would you read her another bedtime story while I'm gone?" Buffy asked, ignoring Willow's concern. 

"Sure," Willow answered as she watched Buffy walk out of the house. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy walked down to the beach with her arms wrapped around herself. She felt guilty for letting her heart lead her instead of her head. It was common sense to know that her William wasn't alive, but her heart filled with hope and longing for him. The past few months she felt like she had nothing in her life. 

_You're lonely_, Buffy thought, but her bad voice came into play. _You very well know that the new man in town is hot, sexy, and single. Girl, you still have hell of a body. Why not go for him? It's time to get over William and move on to the new sexier William. _

Buffy came to a dead stop. Her heart felt like she had just disrespected her dead husband. She shook off the thought and looked out into the black water. 

"Beautiful isn't it?" a voice said coming from behind her. Buffy turned around and saw a shy William. 

"What…."Buffy began, but was cut off by William, putting his finger on her lips. 

"Shh. I have to say this Buffy," said William.

Buffy held her breath waiting to hear what he had to say. William stared into her big green eyes. 

"I just got into town two days ago and just today, everything changed. People have been saying that they knew and I was their relative. It's all very confusing and it hurt for me trying to remember. Your friend, Angel, told me about what had happened five years ago. I have to say I'm really am sorry, but I think we both know I can't replace that man, but I'm willing to take a chance and help. I can be your friend, Buffy. I can't be anything more until…" William began. 

"I understand what you are saying, William. You don't have to give this big grand speech. I would prefer we take things slow. You're right.  We have just met and we both are on an understanding level," Buffy cut in. 

"So, it's that simple? Wow, I thought it would be more..." William began. 

"Difficult?" Buffy offered.  William nodded and rubbed the back of his neck.  

They stood there is uneasy silence. 

"William, about earlier, I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have been so forward. I have no idea what it is like for you right now, but I wasn't helping much with the craziness…" Buffy began. 

"I understand. You still have a thing for your husband it's…" William cut in. 

"It's not only that. I have been having these dreams at night watching him burn in front of my eyes. We're always at the park and we are watching Amber play. He always ends up in flames. 

It's like if I could…" Buffy stopped as her throat clenched and her eyes swelled with tears. She licked her lips and looked down. 

"I swear I could have done something to save him. I kept playing the situation over and over in my mind." 

William could see the inner turmoil as she opened and closed her fists. He wanted to comfort her some way or another, but all he could do was watch. 

"Maybe if I had been quicker or never left Spike's side in the first place…."

"Buffy, breathe, You'll collapse from lack of oxygen," William advised. Buffy kept taking small quivering breaths. 

"Come on. I'll take you back to my cottage. You can rest for awhile," William advised. Buffy nodded, without saying a word she let him lead her back to his place. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Angel ran up the stairs to Amber's room. Her piercing screams could be heard throughout the house. He opened the door and saw the child sitting up in bed, crying and shaking. He walked over and scooped the young child into his arms. He took her over to the rocking chair and rocked her. He could sense Buffy. He could tell she was upset. 

He would have to wait to ask her if she was all right. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy sat in a chair in front of the fire holding a cup of hot cocoa. The cottage was beautiful. All the rooms had wooden interiors. It was very modern. The kitchen had all the up-to-date appliances. She could feel the outside beauty of it too. There was a huge fireplace in the living room, and nets protected the porch outside. It was very beautiful home.

William walked into the  room with his own hot cocoa. He sat down in the chair next to Buffy. He didn't say a word. The uncomfortable silence, stretched out between them. 

Buffy looked at William. She watched as the fire played off his features. He reminded her of Spike so much. She still could see Spike's smile, as he would come up with a way to annoy Angel. _God, I miss that man_, Buffy thought.

"William, about earlier…" Buffy began. 

William took a sip of his cocoa and held up a hand.

"Buffy, it's quite all right," William said with a gentle smile. "You miss him. From what Angel told me, you were deeply in love with him. That could be hard to try to get over. Some people never get over their lost loves and some do. It's just the way you feel and you shouldn't be sorry about it." 

Buffy stared into her cup. She watched the marshmallows swirl around in the chocolate. 

"Thank you," Buffy said silently.  

William looked at her. He studied her facial expressions. She was sad, he could tell, but other he couldn't read the other emotions. Was it grief? Was it gratitude? It wasn't any of those things. He didn't know what it was, but he was sure he would figure it out sooner or later. 

"For what?" William asked. 

Buffy tried to hold back tears. It had been five years and she still could feel the pain of when she lost him that horrible night. She still could feel the heat of that night. 

When Buffy didn't answer, William got up and called Angel. He knew this wasn't time for him to be around. This was time for family and friends to help her grieve. _She considers you a friend_, William thought. She needs you now. _Show her that you ca be by her side_. 

"What's wrong, William?" Angel asked on the other line. 

He explained everything to him about the talk they had had, and that she was now spaced. He explained that he thought it would be better if the people that she loves surrounded her. 

"I agree," Angel answered. "Why don't you drop her off? Amber is having trouble sleeping and I'm thinking she'll probably go to sleep if you put her to bed. I mean you are her new best friend." 

William laughed and shook his head. 

"All right," William agreed. "We'll be over there in a little bit." 

William hung up the phone and put his cup of coco in the kitchen. He grabbed his coat and Buffy's coat. 

William walked over to Buffy and got to her eye sight. Her eyes were distant and full of tears. This thing with her husband was really eating her up inside. 

"Buffy, I'm going to take you home," William said softy. 

Buffy slightly turned her head towards him. She was barely there, but it registered to her. 

"Ok," Buffy said distantly. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Angel walked downstairs with Amber in his arms. The gang was sitting around laughing. He enjoyed watching them. It reminded him of the old times. 

"Hey dead boy, you finally decided to join us," Xander said looking up. 

Amber wrapped her tiny arms around Angel's neck. 

"Well, I figured, wait for Buffy," Angel said simply. 

He bent down to put Amber on her feet, but she clung harder to Angel. He sighed and held her closer. He could tell she was tired and she was fighting it. He also could tell she was frightened. 

"Is she all right?" Dawn asked getting up from her spot from the floor. 

Dawn walked over to Amber and touched Amber's hair. Amber laid her head on Angel's shoulder. 

"She acts like you're her dad," Xander said bluntly. 

Everyone turned and looked at Xander. Brandon came running with a chocolate bar in his hand and had chocolate all over his face. Xander got up and picked up his boy. He took the chocolate bar from him. 

They heard the door open and saw Buffy walked in followed by a man. Everyone gasped except Dawn, Giles, and Angel. 

Amber's head shot up. Her face brightened and a huge smile went across. 

"Willie!" Amber cried. Her arms stretched out. 

William walked over and took Amber from Angel. Amber wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a hug. 

"How are you doing, kitten?" William asked softly. 

Amber laid her head on his shoulder. 

"I'm tired and a monster tried to eat me," Amber said softly. 

William adjusted his arms and headed for the stairs. 

"Merciful Zeus," Xander gasped. 

William turned and looked at all the gaping faces. He felt awkward with everyone staring at him. 

"Is something wrong?" William asked everyone. 

Willow stood up and walked over to him. She poked him and went wide-eyed. 

"He's alive!" Willow gasped.  

Everyone got up and rushed over to him. 

"He's…" Buffy was cut off. 

"Spike, Buddy, I can't believe you're alive," Xander said joyfully. 

William stared at Xander confused. 

"He's not…" Buffy was cut off again. 

"Jeez, we missed you," Willow said giving William a hug. 

Buffy saw the confusion on William's face. 

"HE'S NOT SPIKE!" Buffy yelled. 

The whole room went quiet. Dawn and Angel stood off to the side with their arms crossed. Buffy looked annoyed and extremely tired. William back up and slowly made his way up to Amber's room.

He crept in to Amber's room and put her down in her bed. Her eyes were already starting to close. He could tell she was fighting sleep. William moved a strand of hair out of her face. He felt a strong connection with this child. 

"Sleep now, Kitten," William whispered and then silently slipped out the room. 

He walked back down stairs and saw everyone sitting back down silent. 

"I'm heading home," William said. "Buffy call me if you need to talk or you need someone to baby-sit Amber." 

"Ok, William," Buffy agreed. "I will call you tomorrow." 

William nodded and left. 

"He looks so much like Spike," Willow said softly.

 Buffy flopped down in her chair. 

"That's the problem," Buffy said. "He looks too much like Spike.  It's killing me and yet I can't stay away from him. It's not…." 

Buffy looked into the fire, remembering the fire of eternal love her, and Spike had made. He was so shocked and happy. She could remember the tears he had shed. He loved her so much. She wished she could have prevented that night from happening. 

She just wished she knew the truth

A/N: Ok, sorry for the really long delay. I sent it to Angie a couple of weeks ago.  Then my computer crash last week. I lost the story but thanks to Angie I have chapter 3 for you. Oh also to add to the delay fan fiction.net went down. *sighs* so here we are. You have another chapter to hold you off as I start chapter 4.  I was working on it before my computer crash but again I lost it. Yeah I am dwelling on it. I give you a tiny bit of a summary of chapter 4. Buffy looks back on her memories with Spike. I think it's time for one of those chapters. So the next chapters will be a bit spoilerish. He he. . Anyway, so I hope you will read chapter 4. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Buffy sat in the chair on the porch of William's beach home. She was reading one of her favorite books and trying her hand at being in someone else's life. 

William had called her the following day, after the situation at the house. He said she had to loosen up and let her self wash away everything that had happened over the past few days.  So that things could at least be calm for one day.

When she had begun to protest, he said he would entertain Amber while she relaxed. He promised they would be on the beach and remain within view of her so that she had nothing to worry about. 

Buffy closed the book that she had been half-heartedly attempting to read and gazed at the beach. William and Amber were trying to make a sand castle. She smiled as she heard William groan as the tide took out half of the castle and at Amber, who was now acting like a dinosaur, tearing down the remains. 

It was obvious that Amber enjoyed William's company. She become attached to him in such a sort while. 

Buffy leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. She could hear William and Amber laughing. She could hear the waves as they crashed onto the shore and the birds singing in a beautiful tone. These weren't city noises. They were noises of Mother Nature. It so was peaceful and relaxing. She kind of wished she   lived by the beach . 

She opened her eyes and went back to her book.

_He didn't wait for her to respond. He grabbed her by the waist and kissed her. The kiss wasn't gentle. It was full of Hunger and Passion. The kind of Passion that only exists in true love. This was rare in all cases of love, but was found by few. _

Buffy booked marked it again and stared distantly at the ocean. Her heart and mind were racing, full of memories and thoughts of the past. 

****

**_He can really hurt me_**_, Buffy thought, as she threw Spike against fireplace._

_"I love you," Spike said huskily. Buffy scoffed_

_"You're in love with pain," She said before Spike got up and they fought again and exchanged more words. _

_"I wasn't planning on hurting you…much," Spike said with a sly grin. Buffy glared at him. _

_"You haven't even begun to hurt me," Buffy said as she tossed his hand off her. She pushed him against the wall. _

_"What you afraid I'm gonna…" _

_He was cut off by Buffy crashing her lips to his. Tongues danced and clothes were ripped. All in a heat of the passionate moment, Buffy experienced a sensation she never dreamed of. _

She shook off her memory and looked down at her book. She stared at it, wondering if she should continue with the book and bring on more memories, or get up and wander around William's house. While she contemplated, more memories came back to her. 

_She had a major headache and she was drowsy. Her visions cleared and she saw Spike standing in front of her. She tried to move. She couldn't. She was chained to the wall. She looked around and saw Drusilla tied up. _

_"I love you," Spike said after Buffy swore at him. Buffy stared him dead in the eyes._

_"The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious," she said._

Buffy looked down at her feet. She put the book down and decided neither idea was good for her. She would just let her thoughts and memories take their pace. She had tried to push off before, nothing worked, and it became worse. She just let her memories take her over. 

She couldn't help, but wonder if Spike had still thought of the horrible things she had said to him and wonder if everything was true. 

"If he did he never showed it," Buffy whispered to herself.

_"You know you want it, Slayer," Spike said with a grin. Buffy pushed him to the ground. _

_"Even if I did," Buffy said with a disgust look on her face. "It would never be you, Spike. You're beneath me, William."  She threw her money at him and stormed off. _

Buffy felt tears well in her eyes. She had unwittingly used the same harsh words as his once beloved, Cecily. She used harsher and made sure to get through by adding William. 

He was never beneath her. He never would be no matter what happened. She loved him more then she had loved anyone. She loved Spike more then she did with Angel. 

Angel was her first and innocent love. Spike was her mature, loving, build a life with kind of guy. Of course, fate took away that hope of the perfect life she had always wanted. 

Buffy got up and walked into William's house. She headed to the bathroom to freshen up. She walked into the bathroom and stared into the mirror. 

For the first time ever, she got a good look at herself. She looked older and worn out. 

Her blonde hair was longer. 

"If Spike, was alive he wouldn't recognize me," Buffy whispered to herself. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The rest of the scooby gang sat in the magic shop. The bottom level was quiet. Faces were mixed with sad and joyful emotions.

"So, it's really him," Giles whispered with his arms crossed. 

Angel looked over at Giles and nodded. 

"Yeah, it is," Angel said.  

Xander shook his head.

"How could it be?" Xander asked. "We watched the place burn down the ground. He didn't even make it out," 

"Just because we didn't see him come out of doesn't mean he didn't escape," Angel said. 

"So, what do we do about it?" Willow asked. "Spike is back and has no memory of anything,"

"I guess we help him," Angel answered. 

Angel looked over at Dawn as she rummaged through her purse. She finally retrieved what she was looking for. She walked over to Giles. 

"I found this in my room a couple of days ago. I have another one and I thought you would like it," Dawn said sadly. 

She handed the object to Giles. 

"Oh, Dawn," Giles said breathlessly. 

It was a photo of the family taken a couple of weeks before Spike had died. The entire scooby gang was in the photo. 

"I have many photos of Spike in my room with Amber and such. I thought you would like that," Dawn said with a small smile  

Angel looked at the photo. His face lit up.

"What?" Willow asked looking at Angel. 

"I think I have an idea," Angel said. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy walked back out onto the porch as William and Amber came up the steps. Amber's little hands and feet were covered in sand. 

"You guys have fun?" Buffy asked with a smile. 

"It was fun," Amber said with a huge grin. 

Buffy picked up her daughter. 

"Sorry, she is a little messy," William apologized. "I tried getting her hands cleaned in the ocean but she just dirtied them up again. 

Buffy laughed and gave him an understanding smile. 

"William, you have a lot to learn about kids," Buffy said before turning around and heading for the bathroom. 

William followed her. 

"They don't like to stay clean. No matter what you do. They will find a way to get dirty. I'm just glad she didn't get her sundress dirty." William shrugged. 

"I'm kind of thirsty. You want anything to drink?" William offered. 

Buffy put down the toilet lid and sat Amber down on it. Buffy looked up at William. 

"Lemonade would be fine," Buffy answered. 

William nodded and headed off to the kitchen. Buffy wetted a washcloth and put some soap on it. She bent down and started cleaning her daughter's feet.

"Mommy," Amber said sweetly. 

Buffy looked up at Amber. 

"Yes sweetie?" Buffy asked. 

"Can William stay with us?" Amber asked innocently.

 Buffy stared at her daughter in apprehension. 

"Amber, William already has a home," Buffy said soothingly.

 Amber's features saddened. Buffy's heart wrenched at her little daughter's expression. 

"Isn't Willie apart of the family?" Amber asked. 

"Amber, where did you hear that?" Buffy asked a little alarmed. 

Amber looked innocent and frightened. 

"I heard it from Aunt Drawnie and Uncle Angel," Amber answered. 

"They told you that William was a part of the family?" Buffy asked. 

Her head was spinning with thoughts and worries. 

"Not exactly, I heard them talking in Aunt Dawnie's room," Amber answered. 

Buffy tried not to let her face show shock, pain, and joy. She went back to cleaning Amber's feet without saying a word to her. She washed her hands then took her off the toilet lid. 

"Mommy, can Willie say with us?" Amber asked with hopefulli in her eyes. Buffy hated to crush it but she didn't want her daughter to be disappointed in the long run. 

""I don't think so, sweetie," Buffy said gently. "William has his own home and he is trying to find his family." 

"But aren't we his family?" Amber asked again. Buffy picked up her daughter and moved a strand of hair out of her face. 

"No, sweetie," Buffy answered gently. "He's just a friend." 

"Like Uncle Xander?" Amber asked. 

Buffy shook her head.

"No, sweetie," answered Buffy. "Uncle Xander is family." 

Amber looked confused at her mother. but didn't say another word. 

Buffy walked out of the bathroom and walked into the living room where she saw William sitting on the couch sipping his lemonade staring out the window. 

Amber laid her head on her mother's shoulder. 

"William, do you have a spare room where I can put Amber down for her nap?" Buffy asked. William looked away from the window distant and then snapped out of his trance. 

"Yeah, you can lay her down in my room," William answered. 

Buffy nodded and put Amber down for her nap. 

Buffy walked out of the bedroom a few moments later and joined William out on the porch. He sat in his porch swing. 

"Is this seat taken?" Buffy asked with a small smile. 

William moved over so she could sit down. 

"So, did you enjoy some of the peace and quiet?" William asked looking over at her. 

She nodded.

"I got half way through the book," Buffy answered. "My husband was the one who got me into reading when we were together. At first he would read to me because I was having nightmares then he just read to me for the sake of it. Then I finally decided I would start reading for myself.  I have been reading ever since, 

"Wow," William said amazed. "He sounds like a great guy."

"He really was," Buffy said softly. "He would do anything for me. He never was much a poet though. He was going to start writing a book." 

"Did he ever get around to starting it?" William asked. 

Buffy looked down at her feet. 

"Barely," Buffy answered. "He just started it a couple days before he…." Buffy's voice faded. 

William looked at his hands. He studied the faded scars on his hand. 

"I look at these scars and sometimes I wonder how I got them," William said changing the subject.

 Buffy looked up at him. She waited for him to say more. 

"I wonder if I got these playing outside on a swing set or I got into a fight. I got them some way and I often wonder if I would ever remember how I got them and who I actually was." 

"It must be hard," Buffy said softly. 

She placed her hand on his. He looked over at her.

"It is," William agreed. "I don't know who I am or where I came from. I don't know if I have family that was counting on me, like you and Amber did on your husband." 

"I didn't count on him," Buffy said. "I just loved him with all my soul. I gave him mine and in return he gave me a semi-normal life." 

William caressed her hand with his thumb. Buffy sat closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. He took in her sweet scent and a memory came flashing back.

_"Buffy, love," Spike said softly. Buffy stood there with tears in her eyes as she stared into her mirror. _

_"We're going to have a baby, Spike," Buffy said in an emotional voice. "I don't even know if I'm going to be a good mother." Spike walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. _

_"Buffy, I love you. I will be by your side," Spike assured her. "No Matter if I ever get killed, I will be by your side giving you strength." _

William stared at the porch distantly. He actually had a real memory. Something was coming back. 

After five long lonely years, he finally had a clue into his past. He had finally discovered something. The girl that had lost her husband and the child were his. He, now, knew what drew him to Sunnydale. 

To keep things from going over exposed, he decided to keep things secretive until he learned his entire past. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Angel and Dawn sat at the dining room table. They had photos of Spike in front of them. Most of them had Buffy with him. 

"I'm starting to think they were forced together," Angel said looking at the photos. 

Dawn threw the towel that was lying next to her, at Angel. 

"They weren't forced together," Dawn argued. "They got together before anything happened." 

Angel looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. 

"In the photos they look like they aren't even happy," Angel said handing her his photos. 

Dawn smiled. 

"That's because in these photos Xander ruined the engagement party," Dawn answered. 

"He got really drunk and started saying everything that was on his mind. He couldn't stop bad mouthing Spike." 

"From his best bud? I'm shocked," Angel said sarcastically. 

Dawn ignored the sarcasm. 

"I remember Spike getting so mad that even Buffy couldn't calm him down," Dawn said with a distant smile. "He walked straight up to Xander and punched him. Of course, this happened before he got the ship out and he had hell of a headache, but he said it was worth it. Xander never said another word the entire night. After the incident they called a truce and became friends." 

Angel stared at her in disbelief.

"Oh, they still have their disagreements, but it was worth it," Dawn said. 

Angel nodded. 

"I can't wait till Spike gets his memory back so I can tell him the hell we all have been through," Angel said with a little anger in his voice.

"Angel, it's not his fault that he lost his memory," Dawn said defensively. "You know very well he would have came running back to Buffy and Amber. I mean  he still has even if he doesn't remember them or has no idea that he is over hundred years old. He doesn't even know that demons, vampires, or witches exist." 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

William splashed Buffy as she threw water at him. They stood there laughing and acting like a bunch of teenagers. Amber sat at the kitchen table coloring. 

"Mommy, can I have a cookie?" Amber asked sweetly. 

Buffy turned and looked at Amber. 

"You just had supper, Amber," Buffy said. "You know very well you are not allowed to have sweets." 

Amber started to pout. William looked at Amber and made a sympathetic face. 

"Come on, Ma, Just one small cookie," William said sticking up for Amber. Buffy looked over at William wide-eyed. 

"You're not helping," Buffy said. "Please don't encourage her either." 

Buffy noticed how tired Amber looked. Buffy grabbed the towel and wiped off her face and hands. Buffy walked over to Amber and picked her up. Amber cuddled close to her mother. 

"Come on, Amber," Buffy said in soothing voice. "Time to take you home and put you to bed." Amber groaned softly and tried to protest. but her little eyelids were too heavy for her to stay awake. 

William got their coats and took Buffy and Amber home. He opened the door for Buffy. She gave him a thankful smile.

"I'll be right down," Buffy said softly as she headed up the stairs. She changed Amber into her pajamas and then tucked her into bed. 

"Good night, Amber," Buffy whispered before giving her a kiss on the forehead. 

Buffy headed back downstairs and walked into the living room. 

"She's sound asleep," Buffy said as she sat down on the couch.  "I have to say you entertained her the entire day. I really do appreciate that. It was nice to have some time to collect my thoughts and read a good book." William shrugged. 

"I could tell you needed a break," William said. 

"I'm not really all that tired. Are you up for a walk?" Buffy looked at the clock. 

"Let me see if Dawn is home," Buffy said getting up. "I'm sure she is." 

As If on cue, Dawn walked into the living room eating a cookie. She waved at William then looked at her sister. 

"Hey you guys," Dawn greeted with her mouth full. "You guys have fun at the beach?" 

"Yes, it was very nice," Buffy answered. "Dawn, would you mind keeping an eye on Amber for a while? She's sound asleep. I don't think she'll wake up." 

"Yeah," Dawn answered. "I'll have Angel check on her in an hour." 

Buffy smiled and gave her sister a hug.

"I don't think I'll be long," Buffy promised. 

Buffy got her coat and William followed. They walked in silence as they walked down the neighborhoods until they got to the town. 

"You up for an ice cream?" William asked. Buffy shrugged. 

"Only if you let me buy," Buffy answered. "You have done enough for us." 

William shooed it off. 

"Please, I love doing this for you and Amber," 

William said. "I'm a very giving guy." 

William ordered two ice cream cones and they walked again down the streets. The place was mainly quiet. 

"It's like a deserted town," William said looking at all the shops.

 Buffy shrugged and smiled. 

"Everyone is inside by ten. It's a nice way to keep everyone safe," Buffy answered. 

"Slayer," A voice hissed from behind them. Buffy handed her ice cream cone to William, walked over to a tree, broke off, and branch.  The vampire followed her and they got into a fight. 

William stared stunned as Buffy fought him with no effort and staked him without even breaking a sweat. She walked back over and took the ice cream cone. 

"I guess I have a lot of explaining to do," Buffy said sheepishly. 

"Let's start with the slayer part," William suggested. 

Buffy sighed and told him about her past. She told him that she was only one besides Faith. Mr. Giles was her old watcher and Angel was a vampire. 

"So, your husband, was he a demon?" William asked innocently as they stopped at the docks. 

"Actually he was a soulful vampire until he turned human," Buffy answered. "He turned human the day I found out I was pregnant. It was a very event full night. 

"When I was in my early months with Amber, I craved blood," She shuddered. 

"You're kidding," William said with a small smile. "Did you drink the blood?" 

Buffy flushed. 

"Yeah," Buffy admitted. "I drink half of Spike's left over supply of blood. I was so freaked out. I thought I was turning into a vampire or the baby was going to be one. Spike was so worried, but we found everything was fine and I craved more normal things peanut butter and pickles." 

"You call that normal?" William asked amused. 

"Well better then drinking blood," Buffy answered. "I would think you would be freaked out by this. You know think I was crazy and decide to offer me to the crazy ward." 

William shrugged. 

"I find in interesting," William answered. "Something told me that things here weren't normal. The vampire thing was just locked in my brain somewhere waiting to come out." 

"So, you're ok with it all?" Buffy asked surprised. 

"Yeah," William answered. "It's not like I'm scared of the night. I actually love it and I never really figured out why." 

"Even though Spike was human, he still loved the night," Buffy said distantly. "He loved day light the most though because he missed it. He said he cherished seeing me in sunlight and he longed to watch Amber play in the park. He would be spoiling her rotten." 

"Well, doesn't Angel?" William asked. Buffy shook her head.

"He doesn't want to play father," Buffy answered. "He feels it would be wrong to take Spike's place as her father. He just plays Uncle who sleeps during the day and is up when she goes to bed. She thinks of him as a bodyguard. Nothing more and nothing less."

"Well, she has a strong mother to protect her that's for sure," William offered. 

"Yeah and she has a strong father that protects her even if he is dead," Buffy said sadly. 


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I didn't intend for this chapter to be so long. So Sorry if it takes you a while to read it. 

Chapter 5 

_Buffy stood in the graveyard in front of Spike's crypt. She stared at it for a moment and something clicked in her mind. _

_"I've been here before," Buffy said softly. _

_She opened the door and saw the cavern she had seen when she was knocked unconscious five years ago. She stared at the flaming hands. _

_"Mommy," Buffy called. Joyce appeared in front of her. Her face seemed overwhelmed with joy. _

_"You have been doing well, Buffy," Joyce said in encouraging voice. Buffy shook her head. _

_"No, I let Spike die," Buffy said almost breaking into tears. "You remember him going up into flames well it happened when the building exploded. Spike died and now I'm left to raise Amber alone. It was just like I feared when he got his chip out. I really wish she could have some sort of memory of him." _

_"Buffy, she will always remember him," Joyce said assuring. "He is in her dreams. She just doesn't know who he is. She will soon find out." _

_"Huh?" Buffy asked._

_"You'll figure it out later." _

_"Mom."_

_"Yes?" _

_"Do you visit her in her dreams?" _

_"Of course I do, Buffy. I keep her safe from any horrible nightmares that come close to my grandchild. I might be dead, Buffy. I still can be protective mother even from the grave."_

_ Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around her. _

_"I just hope I can be as good a mother for Amber like you were for me." _

_Joyce looked at her daughter. _

_"Oh Buffy."__ Joyce pulled her daughter into an embrace while she cried. Buffy pulled back and wiped her face. _

_"Is he with me, Mom?" _

_"He is. You just don't know it." _

_Buffy smiled. _

_"Now, go. I don't want to keep my grandchild waiting." Smiled Joyce _

_"I'm sorry I failed to save Spike. I know you really liked him."_

_"You didn't fail, Buffy. You did the best you could." Her mom replied._

_Joyce disappeared and Buffy was standing in the middle of the crypt. _

_"Hello, Love." A very familiar voice said behind her. Her eyes widened and she turned around. _

_"OH My God! Spike!" Buffy cried. _

_She ran straight into her arms. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. _

_"I've missed you, Spike," Buffy wept. He kissed her neck. _

_"I've missed you too, love." _

_"Spike, please tell me I can finally have you back in my life." _

_"Now, pet, you have to go on living for me." _

_Buffy stared at him stunned. She swallowed the lump in her throat. _

_"But Spike…" _

_"Now, go feed my bit. I think she's hungry." Buffy's eyes full of tears. _

_"I…I can't" _

_"No cants. I won't allow it. I love you and I always will. Now go." Every thing went black. _

Buffy sat up in bed. Her eyes were full of tears. She looked over, saw the empty spot in bed, and realized it wasn't just a dream. Spike really was gone.   
  
  


Her tears fell and covered her face. She silently wept for her beloved husband. He had been taken away from her because of a cruel and twisted man. Amber deserved to have her father. She would have if it hadn't been for Riley. 

Angel walked into the room and saw Buffy crying. He walked slowly over to the bed and sat on the edge. He hated these moments. She was still weak. 

Buffy looked up at Angel as he touched her arm. She sat up and wrapped her arms around him. She cried on his shoulder. Telling him all about Spike and that he had visited her in a dream.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

William sat up in his bed. He had just made an appearance in Buffy's dream. Except he had looked strangely different.  He was in an all black outfit and a long leather coat. His hair was bleached blonde. 

"Hmm, maybe that's a look I should go for," William said to his self before bursting out laughing. 

He threw his covers off, and grabbed his sketchbook and headed out to the porch. He sat down at the patio table and started sketching the face he saw in his dream. 

"Let's hope Angel could help me with some blanks," William whispered to himself and he began to go into detail. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You remember when you said Spike would never leave my side no matter what happened?" Buffy asked as she wiped her face. 

"I do," Angel answered. 

"You lied," Buffy said stiffly. Angel cracked a smile. 

"Buffy, he would still be by your side if it wasn't for that bastard Riley," Angel agued. 

"Damn him," Buffy said harshly under her breath. "I really hope he is rotting in Hell right now." 

"BUFFY!" Angel said seriously. Buffy shrugged and leaned against the headboard. 

"Hey, I can have a little hatred for him," Buffy said grumpily. Angel looked at her with wide eyes. She was channeling her younger self. 

"Buffy, come on," Angel said getting up from the bed. "William said he was coming by today. I'm sure you want to see him." 

Buffy's eyes narrowed on him. She threw the small pillow at him. 

"You're evil," Buffy said. 

Angel rolled his eyes. He turned and left the room. 

Buffy smiled and got out of bed. She walked into the bathroom. She turned on the faucet. She stared at the water as she remembered how she had felt when she and Spike created the flame of eternal love. She couldn't forget his face. He looked so surprised and happy. They made a connection. A connection she never felt with anyone. 

"I can never replace him," Buffy said as she gazed to the framed picture of him holding Amber. "He's just irreplaceable. No one can be as pig headed, annoying, and loveable as Spike could be." 

"You don't have to tell me twice," William said standing in the door way smiling. He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. 

"Jeez, sneak up much?" Buffy asked holding her chest. William gave a shy grin and shrugged. 

"Don't really know," William answered. 

"Wow, someone is in a cheery mood this morning," Buffy said impressed. "What did you do? Finally find a way to relieve that sexual tension?" Buffy's eyes widened and she put her hand over her mouth. 

William stood there agape before breaking into a fit of laughter. He shook his head. Finally catching his breath. 

"Well, Summers, you truly are a breath of fresh air," William said standing up straight. Buffy rolled her eyes. 

"Why are you here so early, any way?" Buffy asked. 

"I was wondering if you and Amber were up for going out for breakfast," William answered. 

"I guess that couldn't hurt," Buffy said with a shrug. "I swear if you keep taking us places. Amber will become attached to you." 

"Nah. Mostly likely she will get sick of me," William suggested. 

"Oh, then you need to come around more often." 

"Just hurry up." William turned and headed back downstairs. 

He walked into the living room and sat on the couch. Angel walked in a few seconds later holding his sketched he did earlier. 

"This is incredible, William," Angel said sitting down in front of him. William nodded. 

"I have to agree with you on that," William said rubbing his head. "I had a memory flash back yesterday." 

"Wow. Was it anything specific?" Angel asked leaning forward. William shook his head. 

"I'm just glad I had one in the first place.  At least, I know a bit of my past. It might not have been much but it was a start." 

"The start is what exactly?"

William stared at him for a second and took a deep breath.  He figured he might as well tell him. 

"My name is Spike." 

Angel almost fell off his chair. He stared wide-eyed at him. He took a few deep breaths. 

"I had my theories. I just didn't know it was true. Oh Dawn and Buffy will be so happy to have you back." 

"NO!" William said standing up. "I don't want anyone to know yet. I have a feeling as if I can trust you with this. I want to get my full memory back before the family knows." 

"All right, William. Your secret is safe with me. As long as you promise you will try to spend more time with Amber." 

"Of course. She's my kid, Angel." Angel raised an eyebrow at him. 

"The memory I had was when Buffy was worried about being pregnant. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Put two and two together and you got Amber." 

Buffy walked down the stared wearing a red sundress. Amber was in her arms wearing a little jean and a dress shirt. Both of them had their hair down. 

"They're such a beautiful sight aren't they, Peaches?" William whispered to Angel. 

Angel looked over at William stunned. He hid his shock. Only Spike called him Peaches.  This was going to be fun trying to cover up William's secret. 

"You look unbelievable, Buffy," William, said speechless. 

Buffy blushed. Amber tugged on William's shirt. 

"What about me?"  Amber asked.  William looked down at her and smiled. 

"You look pretty too," William answered. He put a pink flower in her hair. She smiled and motioned him to pick her up. He picked her up and smiled at her. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy and William sat on the park bench as the watched Amber go off and play on the swings. They decided to let Amber run off all of her sugar from her pancakes. 

"You seem a little distant," William said looking at Buffy. 

Buffy turned and looked at him. 

"Spike visited me in a dream last night," Buffy said softly. "It made me apprehend that I miss him more then I ever realized. I heard his voice again and my whole life went back to five years ago. I saw him and I thought I was still a newly wed with a six-week-old child. I woke up and I was a widow with a five year old daughter to take care of." 

"There's something else," William said staring at her face. 

Her blonde locks were shining against the sunlight. Sun gave her a heavenly glow. She was his dream goddess. 

"I realized how lonely I felt," Buffy said sadly. "I haven't been with a man in five years. I miss the cuddles on the couch. I miss the little smoochys. I miss the feel of…" 

Buffy stopped remembering what it was like to have Spike touch her naked body. His muscles were so tight. It made her remember how she fell in love with him. The lust and the passion they had. 

"You miss the feel of passion," William whispered finishing her sentence. Buffy nodded and rubbed hands together. 

"I thought you and Angel were…" 

"NO!" Buffy answered quickly surprised. "We never could be like that not for years. He's my shoulder to cry on. He's a friend. He was my first love and I always had him for support when Spike died. He took care of Amber while I grieved. It was nice to grieve in peace and let my heart heal enough for me to take care of my daughter." 

"I some how don't think you heart is healed at all," William said bluntly. 

Buffy stared at him surprised then turned her attention back to Amber. 

"You're right," Buffy said. "My heart hasn't healed. I don't think it will ever heal. The prophecy that brought us together said when we got married; we would be bound together forever. When one of us dies, we both were supposed to die. One of us wasn't supposed to be left behind to feel the lost. We were going to be together all eternity." 

"What if he's still alive?" William asked. Buffy looked over at him then back at Amber again. 

"If he is…" Buffy went quiet. 

She tried to think what it would be like to have him back. To have his kisses and have him be totally devoted to her again.  

"I would just want to know that he is all right and he was loved by someone who loved him as much as I do," Buffy said barely over a whisper. 

"Hey," William said soothingly. 

He took her into his arms and let her cry on his shoulder. 

"Shh. I'm sure if he was alive he would do everything he could to come back to you and Amber." 

"You think so?" Buffy asked without even lifting her head. 

"I am doubly sure," William whispered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Angel sat on the couch in the living room staring at photo of Spike. He stared at it amazed. The guy was actually alive.  He had no memory of his past. The only thing he figured out was that Amber was his kid and Buffy was his wife. They were his family. 

"Whoa, what's with the looking at the photos?" Dawn asked walking in with a soda. 

She sat down in the chair the sat in front of the couch. Angel looked up from the photo at Dawn. 

"Dawn, let's say hypothetically, I was right, Spike was alive, and he had no memory of his family at all. How would you react?" Angel asked. 

Dawn took a sip of her soda and shrugged.   
  
  


"I don't know exactly," Dawn, answered. "I would cry for joy and try to help him out to the best of my abilities. I would tell him the things that had happened five years ago and some of the memories we had made. I mostly think I would cry and hug him." 

"Oh," Angel said. 

Dawn studied him for a second and noticed the uneasiness. 

"This is about William isn't it?" Dawn asked scooching to the edge of the chair. "He finally got some of his memory back didn't he?" 

"Not exactly," Angel answered. "He had a memory, but I think you best and wait until he gets his full memory back." 

Dawn wasn't stupid. She knew very well what Angel meant by memory and the hypothetically thing meant it was real. 

"William is Spike," Dawn said trying to get it out of Angel. "He finally remembered some part of who he was." 

"No, Dawn," Angel lied. "I didn't say that. He had a memory. It didn't give him any kind of idea who he was. He just wanted me try to help him." 

Dawn saw a drawing on the couch next to Angel. 

"So you're drawing Spike now?" Dawn asked pointing to the drawing. 

Angel looked over and knew he was busted. 

"Not really," Angel whispered. 

Dawn grabbed the drawing and saw William's signature at the bottom. 

"Oh My God! William is Spike!" Dawn cried. 

Angel jumped up and put a hand over Dawn's mouth. 

"Hush," Angel said strictly. "Nobody can know. He wants to gain full memory before anything happens." 

"Why?" Dawn asked after Angel took his hand off her mouth. 

"He doesn't want to make a mistake," Angel answered sitting down again. 

Dawn rubbed the back of her neck.  She sat down slowly on the chair. 

"So, we help him like we said before," Dawn said with a shrug. "You already told them that William was Spike." 

"No, I said it was possible," Angel corrected. "There is a difference. Plus, hearing it with my own ears coming from his mouth made me realize it is true."  

Dawn stared at him blankly. 

"Angel that sentence made absolutely no sense at all," Dawn, said annoyed. Angel sighed. 

"Never mind, Dawn," Angel said aggravated. "Let's just focus on the problem here. William really is Spike without speculation and he remembers nothing. He only knows that Buffy is his love and Amber is his kid. He doesn't know that he is married to her. He has no idea that he was born in 1856 or that he was turned into a vampire in 1880. He doesn't know what he has done in the past or that Buffy died seven years ago. He has no idea…" 

"ANGEL!" Dawn yelled rubbing her head. "I get the point. He has no memory at all. Jeez, I'm not that stupid."

"Sorry," Angel apologized. He got up and started pacing the floor. His arms were behind him and he was muttering to himself. 

"I didn't say turn into crazy man," Dawn said getting up and stopping him. "Maybe we could do some spells or take him to some of his old hang outs." 

 Angel stared at Dawn. 

"We can't do a spell, Dawn," Angel said strictly. "Some of the places Spike use to hang out at are way too dangerous." 

"I'm not a child," Dawn roared. "I'm 22 years old. I have lived with a slayer my whole life. Spike took care of me after Buffy died and when she came back, he still took care of me as well as Buffy. Trust me, Angel. I can handle anything." 

Dawn stood there her jaw clenched and her arms folded across her chest. 

Angel stared at her mesmerized. For the first time ever, he noticed how beautiful Dawn was. _Don't start__ having feelings for another Summers Woman, _Angel warned himself. _Last time you were attract to a Summers you turned into Angelus. _

"I'm very aware of that," Angel said putting his hands on Dawn's shoulders. "I just don't think your sister would like to learn you went to demon bars." 

"Clem!" Dawn said wide-eyed.  Angel stepped back and stared at her blankly. 

"What?" Angel asked confused. 

"Clem was Spike's best friend," Dawn answered. "He's staying at a place near Spike's crypt. Spike had him promise to keep it for him." Angel nodded and rubbed his chin. 

"So, we take William to Clem," Angel said in a skeptical voice. "William meets Clem. Freaks out and we use all contact with Spike forever." Dawn punched Angel in the arm. 

"According to Buffy after last night's encounter with a vampire," Dawn said. "William seemed ok with demons and such. He seemed impressed with Buffy being a vampire slayer." 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

William stood next to Buffy in his bathroom back at his place. She was wiping her face and applying more make-up. She had to admit. She didn't look so bad even after she cried for thirty minutes. 

"You ok?" William asked soothingly. Buffy looked over at him and gave him a small smile. 

"A little better," Buffy answered. "The dream rattled me more than I thought it did. I'm sorry I ruined our…. What was that?" 

"A breakfast date?" William offered. Buffy smiled and nodded. 

"That seems like the right word," Buffy agreed. "I felt kind of foolish. I never really broke down like that before. Not in public anyway. Did I look like a fool? I mean you can tell me if I look like a fool. I really wouldn't…"  
  
  


"Buffy," William said putting his hand on her arm. "Stop and take a breath after every sentence." 

"Sorry," Buffy apologized. "I have a tendency to ramble when I'm embarrassed or nervous." 

"You don't have to be either around me," William said softly. 

He walked into the bathroom and shut the door. He wrapped his arms around Buffy and pulled her close. 

"What are you…" Buffy began to ask, but was hushed by William putting his finger on her lips. He looked deeply into her eyes and captured her lips with his. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Where do you think they are?" Dawn asked sitting on the couch looking out the window.  

Angel sat in the chair reading a book. He really didn't want to think about Dawn. He never in his right mind thought he would be imagining kissing Dawn. She was Buffy's little sister. He needed to keep his cool. He was just feeling lonely with all the love that was in the air. 

"Angel," Dawn asked. Angel shook off his thoughts and looked up at her. 

"Huh?" Angel asked.

"I was wondering if you want to rent a movie tonight," Dawn asked. "Buffy and Amber will be probably eat at William's and that leaves us with the…" 

"Dawn, are you asking for a date at home?" Angel asked with a smirk. 

Dawn rolled her eyes then looked down. 

"Yes," Dawn answered. "I know you're my sister's ex and you're older then me but…." 

"Dawn, I would love to have a movie with you," Angel answered. 

Dawn looked up with a million watt smile, ran over, and hugged him. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy pulled away trying to catch her breath. William leaned his forehead against hers. Both were blown away from the kiss. It was one of those take your breath away kisses. 

"I know we agreed to become friends," William said softly. "I just feel like I've been come closer to you then anyone I have ever known the past five years. You can leave if you want." 

"William, you have been the first man I kissed in five years," Buffy whispered. "Promise me we will have more." 

William smiled and kissed her again. 

"As many as you want, Buffy," William promised. "It's a new beginning for all of us." 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy walked through the door with Amber sleeping on her shoulder. She walked into the living room and saw Dawn sitting on the couch watching television. Angel had laid his head on her lap and was fast asleep. She was playing with his hair. It was an image of her and Spike when he was still alive. 

"Hey," Buffy said softly. 

Dawn looked up and smiled. She noticed her sister's swollen lips. Dawn bit back a smile. 

"Well, how did it go?" Dawn asked. Buffy smiled and shrugged. 

"I'll tell you all about it once I put her down," Buffy whispered then turned and put Amber down in her bed. 

Buffy kissed Amber on the forehead then headed back down stairs. 

Buffy walked into the living room and saw that Angel had slipped off while she was up stairs. Dawn sat stretched out on the couch.

"So, details," Dawn, demanded. 

Buffy sat in the chair eager to share what had happened. 

"Well we had a nice talk during breakfast," Buffy began. "After breakfast we took Amber to the park to play. I told him about my dream I had. Don't worry I'll tell you the dream later, anyway. We went back to his place and he let me calm down while he took care of Amber. You know, entertaining her. He came to check on me after ten minutes. Oh My God, Dawn. You will never believe what happened next." 

"You guys had sex?" Dawn asked softly. 

Buffy shooed her off. 

"DAWN!" Buffy said surprised. "Amber was only a few doors away, I don't think so. We made out in the bathroom, though. It was then he asked me on a date. I mean a _real_ date. We were going to go out Thursday if you don't mind watching Amber."  

Dawn's face lit up with a huge smile. 

"Oh My God, Buffy!" Dawn cried. 

The two sisters jumped up from their seats and embraced. 

"I have to say I'm kind of glad you are moving on," Dawn said with a huge smile. "I think you have been alone and without a man for way too long." 

"God, Dawn!" Buffy said stepping away from her sister. "Is sex the only thing you think about?" Dawn shrugged. 

"You know very well that you have been restless with out a man," Dawn said with a sly smile. 

"Dawn Mary Summers, we have a five year old in the house," Buffy said disgusted and amused. "There will be none of that kind of language in this house." 

Dawn sighed and winked at her sister. 

"I was just teasing you," Dawn said with a smile. 

She sat back down on the couch and went back to her television.

"So you and Angel huh?" Buffy asked sitting back down in her chair. 

Dawn looked over at her sister.

"There is no Angel and I," Dawn said defensively then her voice got soft. "At least not yet."  

Buffy smiled and shook her head. 

The Summers sisters had fallen for two vampires. One, married and had a child with one, then lost him. The other, just getting to know the vamp even though the other sister had all ready dated him when she was in high school. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_Two days later: Thursday_

"Buffy, come on," Dawn yelled from out her sisters door. "William, will be here in three minutes." Dawn stood at the door tapping her foot. 

Buffy opened the door. She had her make-up one and her hair was done, but she was still in her bathrobe. Dawn sighed and pushed her way in. All her sister's dresses were tossed on the bed. She saw a shimmering red one on the corner of the bed and grabbed it. She threw it at her sister. 

"Wear that one," Dawn said simply. 

Without another word, Dawn turned and left the room. Buffy threw on the dress got out some nice heels. She rushed when she heard the doorbell ring. 

"Hello, William," Dawn greeted with a sweet smile. 

William was dressed up in a nice dark blue dress-shirt and wearing kaki pants with black shoes. He wore a light blue tie. His hair was slicked back slightly. Dawn saw so much of a resemblance of Spike that she almost lost her breath.  She had to admit the guy knew how to bring out his eyes and he had some sense of style. 

"Hello, Dawn," William greeted with a nervous smile. "Is Buffy ready yet?"  

Dawn shook her head. 

"Not, yet," Dawn answered. "She's…." 

"She's absolutely gorgeous," William, said breath taken. Dawn turned and saw her sister walking down the stairs. 

Buffy wore a red dress that showed all the right curves. Her half of her hair was put into a ponytail. The dark red lipstick brought out her lips and her liner drew attention to the eyes. William couldn't help to notice that the dress showed just right amount of cleavage. 

"You look so handsome," Buffy complimented taking William's arm. 

He couldn't stop looking at her. 

"You look so beautiful, Buffy," William whispered. 

Buffy's face lit up. 

"Thank you," Buffy said gracefully. 

She looked over at Dawn. 

"I'll see you sometime, tonight," Buffy said more motherly like. "No making out in front of Amber. No talks of doing it. The entire list of emergency numbers are on the refrigerator and remember, Amber's bed time is at 9:00, no letting her staying up late."  

Buffy looked over at William. 

"Let's go." 

William and Buffy headed out to his bar and he opened the door for her. Buffy gave him a graceful nod and got into the car. _He may have lost his memory but he sure can be a gentlemen_, Buffy thought as William got into the driver's side of the car. 

"Here," William said handing a red rose to Buffy. She smiled sweetly. 

"Aww, William," Buffy cooed. "Thank you. It's beautiful." She took a whiff of it and smiled. 

"It's just as beautiful as you," William said with a smile. "The rose matches you lips." 

Buffy stared at him. He sure was a charmer when he wanted to be.

William took Buffy to a romantic restaurant near the bay. They softly talked over a candle light dinner and dance to the music. Buffy couldn't remember when she had so much fun. 

"This has been absolutely incredible," Buffy said gazing at the water. 

William took her hand and held on to it. 

"I have to say you are absolutely incredible," William said with a smile. 

Buffy looked at him and smiled. 

"You know you can quite the charmer when you want to be," Buffy said. "You made feel like a queen tonight." 

"Well, I just wanted you to have an incredible night," William said with a shrug. "I know you don't get to go on these kinds of dates having to take care of Amber. I figured why not seize the moment and show you an incredible time." 

"Everything has been so romantic," Buffy said softly. 

"Well, I guess I'm an old Romeo at heart," William joked. 

Buffy laughed and they headed home. 

William walked Buffy up to her door. Both staring deeply into each other's eyes. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. The kissed wasn't harsh or hungry. It was slow and passionate. 

William pulled back and opened the door for Buffy. She looked at him with a smile. 

"The night is still young," Buffy began. "Would you like to come in?"  William couldn't refuse. _This night couldn't get any better_, William thought. 

Buffy and William walked into the living room. Buffy gasped and William shook his head.

Dawn and Angel were doing heavy make-out on the couch during a movie. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Buffy stood there, mouth opened and William couldn't help but smile. He took Buffy by the arm and dragged her away from living room. She was still in utter shock. He couldn't blame her. She had just seen her sister and ex boyfriend making out on the couch in her house with a five year old sleeping up stairs. 

"I can't believe this," Buffy said harshly.  William sat down at the island. He watched her pace back and forth. 

"Buffy, calm down," William said easily. "You told me that they were thinking about dating. You said you wanted it to happen. Well it's happened so just be happy about it."

"How can I be happy about it?" Buffy asked harshly. 

William took the sign of frustration. He got up and led her outside of the house. He closed the door and sat on the bench. 

"Buffy, take a deep breath," William suggested. "You're sister is old enough to make her own decisions, isn't she?" 

"Yeah, I know" Buffy answered with a sigh. 

She sat down next to William and looked at him. He seemed so content. He didn't seem bothered by her pacing or by her frustration about her sister. 

"Why are you so calm?" Buffy asked. William raised an eyebrow. 

"Why wouldn't I be calm?" William asked. 

"Don't answer my question with another question," Buffy demanded. William smirked. 

"All right," William agreed. He just sat there smiling at her, it was infuriating, but soon, Buffy found herself smiling along with him. She slapped him lightly on the arm.

"What?" William asked. She gave him a small smile. 

"Stop being so amused," Buffy demanded playfully. William shrugged and turned his attention to the yard. 

"Fine, I'll just be amused at the boring yard," William said, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. 

Before Buffy could get in another word, Dawn opened the back door. Both of them looked over at her. William eyed her and a smile crept onto his face. 

"Darn, the heavy lip session must be over," William teased. Dawn stared at William, wide-eyed. 

"Excuse me?" Dawn asked. Angel walked out onto the porch. 

"Well now we have our Romeo and Juliet out here, ready to give us a visual of how to kiss," William continued to tease. Angel stared at him as Buffy rubbed the bridge of her nose. 

She sat forward and hit William in the arm. He looked over at her surprised and rubbed it.

"Hey watch it slayer," William said, still rubbing his arm franticly. Buffy stared at him. _Slayer?_ Buffy thought. _Can it...No. He was just being annoying_. 

But Dawn wasn't going to let it go. The way he'd said 'Slayer', it was all too evident and yet she watched her sister tell William to stop the teasing and let her talk. 

"Buffy, can't you see it?" Dawn asked pointing to William. William looked at her confused. Angel grabbed her by the hand and dragged her off into the kitchen. 

"Don't even say anything," Angel whispered. "Buffy will find out in good time. Let some of these things go. Ok?" 

"Buffy claims that she loved Spike," Dawn whispered. "If she did truly then why is she just letting these signs go?" 

"Because Dawn…" Angel hesitated. "She doesn't want to make a mistake. You know that. She's been having a hard time dealing with Spike's death. She is barely even hanging on now. Dating William is a big step for her." 

"How do you know these things?" Dawn asked. 

Angel looked out the door and on the porch. William and Buffy were laughing. They looked so happy. He turned his attention back to Dawn. 

"I know this because your sister use to cry to me in the middle of the night about Spike," Angel answered. "Now she comes down and asks me if she is doing the right thing with William.  Just let her take her time." 

William walked into kitchen with Buffy in tow. He turned to face her, slowly bent forward, and laid a light kiss on her hand.

"I will come back tomorrow," William whispered, looking Buffy in the eyes. "I will come back for my lovely ladies." He kissed her on the lips this time and left. 

"Can you say charmer much?" Dawn said with her arms crossed.  Buffy tried not to glare at her sister.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

William walked up the steps the following day, holding flowers. He ran up to the door and knocked. Dawn opened the door panting heavily. 

"Hey," Dawn said out of breath. She moved out of the way and motioned him to come in. 

"Hey," William greeted. "Angel and you doing the heavy make-out again?" Dawn rolled her eyes. 

"No," Dawn answered. "We were doing a training session. Buffy's out buying groceries and Amber is up stairs taking her nap." Dawn looked at her watch. 

"Actually, I should go get her up now." She started for the stairs, but William stopped her. 

"Let me," William offered. "Put these in a vase for Buffy." William handed Dawn the dozen red roses and headed up stairs. Dawn stared at the roses and shook her head. 

"Always was the romantic," Dawn whispered then headed off into the kitchen. 

William crept towards Amber's room. Through the door he could hear voices. He opened it a crack. Inside he saw Amber, sitting on the floor with her back towards him. He opened it wider and crept up on her. He ran over and picked her up. Amber screamed at first then starting laughing. 

"Willie," Amber said turned towards him. He stared at the child for a moment. He sat down on her bed and put her on his knee. Amber was in her game face. He ran his finger gently over the bumps. Amber shoved the count doll she was holding under his nose. 

"Do you like Dracula, Willie?" Amber asked holding up the count doll. 

"Yes, I do," William said, smiling at the small child. He was still stunned to find Amber in her vampire face. 

"He's all 'Grr' and his teeth are sharp," Amber said excitedly. Her normal visage shifted back and her green eyes shimmered in the light. 

"Amber!" Buffy called. Amber smiled and jumped off William's knee. She went running down the stairs.

"MOMMY!" Amber cried. Buffy smiled and Amber leaped into her arms. 

"Did you have a nice nap?" Buffy asked. 

"I got up all on my own," Amber said proudly. Buffy kissed Amber on the head then put her down.  

"Hey," William said walking down the stairs. Buffy turned and looked at him concerned. He looked a little pale. 

"Are you feeling all right?" Buffy asked placing her hand on his forehead. Amber tugged on Buffy's shirt.

"Mommy, William saw me in my 'grr' face," Amber said excitedly. Buffy stared at Amber wide-eyed. 

"Were you playing in your count face again?" Buffy asked sternly getting to her daughter's eye level. Amber nodded. 

"I was playing with Dracula," Amber said softly. 

"Didn't Mommy and Uncle Angel tell you not to play in your count face?" Buffy asked.

"Yes," Amber said softly. "I wasn't playing around anybody. You said it was all right if I played by myself." 

"It was my fault, I snuck up on her," William explained. Buffy stood up straight and sighed. She ran her fingers through her daughter's long blonde curls. 

"Sweetie, go watch some television," Buffy said softly. Amber turned and ran into the living room. She looked at William.

"I guess you didn't know my daughter inherited her father's game face," Buffy said. William nodded. 

William was about to say something but was interrupted by a knock on the door. Buffy ran the rest of the way down the stairs and pulled open the door only to reveal a girl. She looked to be in her early twenties, with long wavy brown hair and deep hazel eyes that showed fear. 

"Can I help you?" Buffy asked. The girl took in a breath. She looked incredibly nervous and uncomfortable.

"Is William here?" the girl asked. 

"May I ask who you are?" Buffy asked. She glanced down to see the girl rubbing her hands together. She never seen a girl this nervous before. 

"I'm Ella Wood," The girl answered. "I was a friend of his when he was living in Washington. I need to speak to him, if I may." 

"Ella?" William asked walking over to the door. Ella's eyes lit up and she bolted straight for William. He wrapped his arms around her. 

"William, I was afraid I'd never find you," Ella whispered. "Something horrible has happened."  William pulled back and looked at Ella. Tears were now streaming down her face. 

"What happened, Ella?" William asked soothingly. 

"Mom and pop were killed three weeks ago," Ella said sadly. William's eyes filled with pain. 

"How?" William asked. Ella broke into tears.  He pulled the girl back into his arms and held her tightly. 

"The police said their necks had some weird neck trauma," Ella muttered. She pulled back and wiped away her tears. 

"How so?" Buffy asked. 

"It looked like they were poked in the neck with those barbeque forks," Ella answered. "They said it was like all their blood was sucked out of them." 

"Oh god," Buffy whispered. She looked at the girl and decided tea would be best. 

"Ella, how about I make you some nice tea?" Buffy offered. "It can calm you down."  The girl nodded and followed Buffy into the kitchen. 

*   *   *

Angel walked out of the Basement door and saw Buffy talking to a girl. She seemed to be pretty upset.  He walked in and took a seat next to her.

"What's going on?" Angel asked. Buffy handed him a water bottle. 

"This is one of William's friends," Buffy said, pointing to the girl. "She came to give William some bad news. I was just about to go talk to him." 

"What about me?" Ella asked insecurely. 

"You'll be fine with him," Buffy said pointing to Angel. "Need a shoulder to cry on. He's your man." She walked around the island and walked into the living room. The room was darker then she remembered. She noticed the storm clouds rolling in. William was standing at the window staring out it.

**_Oh God_**_, Spike thought staring at Buffy's limp body. **She's dead.  Glory got to her and killed her. It's all my fault.**_

****

William felt his heart wrench. The image of Buffy lying on top of the rubble. It was just too much. She had died and yet she was kissing him last night. It didn't make any sense. 

"Hey," Buffy said softly. William looked over at her and gave a small smile. She wrapped her arm around his and leaned on it. 

"It must be so hard for you right now." She kissed his arm and looked out the window. 

"What is hard, pet?" William asked softly. Buffy looked up at him with big eyes. 

"Did you just call me pet?" Buffy asked. 

"Yes," William answered. He saw tears welling up in her eyes. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it was offensive, its just something I used to call some of the girls back home. It's from my mysterious background." 

"It's not that," Buffy said cutting in. "My husband use to call me pet. I haven't heard it in real life since two days before he died." 

"I'm sorry," William whispered. 

Buffy caressed his arm and laid her head against it. 

Dawn stood in the doorway towards the kitchen and smiled. She watched as William put his arm over her. They looked so cute and content together. 

"Angel," Dawn whispered over her shoulder. 

"What?" Angel asked getting up from his chair at the island and walked over to the doorway. Dawn pointed to the couple in the corner, staring out the window. 

"Aren't they cute?" Dawn asked. Angel caught a hint of sadness in her voice. 

"They are cute," Angel answered. He looked at Dawn and pushed some hair behind her ear. 

"I miss Spike," Dawn whispered. "He was always good with hard situations. He knew how to handle Buffy and he was good with keeping people under control. Angel, Spike missed Amber growing up. He's missing it as we speak. Think of how he is going to react when he gets his memory back and realizes his baby girl is not a baby anymore." 

Tears were falling slowly down her cheek as she spoke. 

Angel couldn't stand watching any woman cry, especially Dawn. He pulled her into his arms as she softly wept. He placed his chin on her head and whispered that everything was going to be all right. 

"Maybe I should go," Ella said feeling uncomfortable. "Tell William that I'm staying at the Sunnydale Inn." Ella grabbed her purse and walked out the back door. Angel watched the poor girl leave. 

"We have to talk to him tonight," Dawn said pushing back from Angel. She wiped her face. 

"I think he should come to us," Angel suggested. "I don't think we should force him to remember everything." 

"I mean we should tell him some of the things that he and Buffy went through," Dawn explained. Angel shook his head. 

"Again, I say he should come to us," Angel repeated. "We would be forcing him to remember things he can't right now. We just have to be patient." 

*  *  *

_"I have to say, I always wanted to take you down in a fight," Spike gushed before kicking Riley, with a hardhigh kick. _

_Angel backed off. He sensed something was wrong in the house. He looked at Spike, who seemed like he was having the time of his life, beating Riley. _

"What are you thinking about?" Buffy asked. William didn't respond. His thoughts were stuck in his new memory. 

_Spike opened his eyes and saw Riley get into the white van. He thought Angel had scared him off, until he heard a familiar baby cry. It was Amber crying. By the time everything registered. The van was speeding off down the street. _

"William?" Buffy asked concerned placing her hand on his chest. Knocked out of his daze, her looked down at her. 

"Yeah?" William said distantly. 

"Are you all right?" Buffy asked concerned. "You seem to be so far away." 

"Oh, I'm just thinking," William reassured her, softly caressing her arm. Buffy looked at her watch.

"I was going to take Amber out for dinner," Buffy said looking at William. "Do you want to come?" 

"No, that's ok," William declined. "I think that you and Amber need time to spend together without me." Buffy nodded and kissed him on the cheek.  She picked up Amber from the couch and grabbed her purse. She waved goodbye to William then walked out. 

William turned and saw Dawn and Angel standing in the doorway talking about something obviously intense. He walked over to them. 

"Can I talk to you guys?" William asked sheepishly. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"So you just all of a sudden remembered those things?" Dawn asked skeptically. William had told them about the memory he had had while looking out the window, 

"I don't know what brought them up," William answered, staring into his cup. Angel looked at William with sympathy. 

"Well this means your memory is coming back faster then any of us expected," Angel said upbeat. "Which is a good thing in my book. The sooner Buffy has Spike back in her life, the better we will all be." 

"I need answers though," William said looking up from his cup. "It didn't make sense. Why was Buffy dead? Who was Riley? Why did Amber get taken? All my memories do is spring up more questions than answers." 

"Which is why we're here," Dawn piped in. "I'll answer why Buffy was dead. You see, I'm a mystical key. My blood was used to open a portal to some kind of hell dimension. It opened. Spike tried to stop it before it happened, but a creepy guy threw him off and well, he cut me. My blood opened the portal and it so happened that it was only my blood that could close the portal. The monk made me out of Buffy, so Buffy, being the slayer and all, jumped into the portal and closed it for good. It ended up killing her."

"Why is she alive then?" William asked. 

"Willow, Tara, Xander, and Anya brought her back," Dawn answered. "They pulled her out of heaven and for a year she was lost. Spike was the only one who reached her. They had a steamy relationship and then she ended it. Well that only lasted about two weeks and then they got back together…well the rest is history." William was still confused by everything. 

"Riley was Buffy's ex-boyfriend," Angel answered the next questions. "He used to work…" 

"For the initiative," William whispered. "They put a chip in my head." Angel nodded and Dawn stared wide-eyed at William. 

"Do you remember anything else?" Dawn asked hoping beyond hope that he did remember more.

"Joyce," William whispered. "We used to use the bloody Buffybot to go patrolling after Buffy died." 

"Why did Riley want Amber and Buffy?" Angel asked. 

"How the bloody hell should I know?" William asked frustrated. Dawn's face lit up. 

"What's your nick name for me?" Dawn asked touching William's hand. 

"I had a few," William answered. "I usually called you nibblet." Dawn flew out of her chair and wrapped her arms around him. 

"Oh My God! Spike," Dawn cried. "I've missed you so much." William warmly returned her embrace.

"When did you die?" Angel asked. William looked at Angel and scowled. 

"Shut up, Peaches," William scuffed. "I'm trying to have a nice moment with lil bit here." Angel sat back and crossed his arms. 

"It's nice to have you back, Spike," Angel said with a smile. "We've missed you." 

"One more question," Dawn said pulling back. "You and my sister were in love for a long time. What did you two do to show us your love was forever?" 

"That's an easy one," William scuffed. "Our hands lit on fire. Giles cleaned his glasses and kept saying good lord." Dawn laughed and threw her arms around him. 

There was a knock at the door that made William and Dawn leap apart. They both looked at the door. Dawn started to get up to answer it, but William grabbed her arm. 

"Let me get it," William offered. He went to the door and opened it. The entire Scooby Gang was standing there. William's face lit up and a huge smile began to form. 

"Well if it isn't the crack team who used to foil my every plan," William teased. They all stared at him for a moment. William sighed. He thought for a moment and looked at Xander.

"The boy needs to go beyond his demon," William said pointing to Xander and Anya. Xander and Anya looked at each other. 

"Oh bloody hell," William said throwing up his hands. "Get into the bloody house before we send Peaches into ashes." 

They all walked into the house. Every last one of them looked at William and then entered the living room. He followed them and sat down on the chair. 

The whole room was filled with silence. Everyone sharing glances then looking back at William. He felt like a bug trapped underneath a magnifying glass with the sun bearing down on him. 

"Spike?" Xander asked breaking the uneasy silence. William looked over at Xander.

"It looks like Harris isn't as dumb as he seems," William said with a smirk. Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them. William tried not to laugh at it. 

"Some things will never change," William said pointing to Giles's glasses. Giles sighed. 

"How do we really know it's you?" Giles asked, looking sternly at William. 

"Don't give me that bloody look," William scowled. "I was chained up in your bloody tub, drinking pig's blood out of a novelty mug after I got that bloody chip implanted in my sodding brain from those initiative buggers." Giles looked over at Angel and Dawn. 

"Did you tell him any of this?" Giles asked. Dawn and Angel shook their heads. 

"Nope," Dawn answered. "Everything came back to him when we were talking. It shocked me into tears." 

"I have to say I kind of enjoyed William," Angel teased. "He was less aggressive." 

"Stuff it, Peaches," William hissed. "Or I'll show you how less aggressive I can really get." Everyone laughed. He looked at the room. 

"I've got to say I missed you buddy," Xander said with a smile. William shook his head. 

"I hope you improved on your pool game," William teased. "Cause I got to say if you are still bad after five years it'll just be sad." William walked over to Giles and pulled him into a hug. Giles was stunned for a moment then hugged him back. 

"It's good to have you back son," Giles whispered. They pulled back and William looked at everyone. 

"All right," William said going into commando mode. "No one tells Buffy about this. I want to tell her myself." 

It was at that particular moment, that Buffy walked into the room, holding Amber in her arms.

"Tell me what?" Buffy asked, putting Amber down. William stared at Amber for a moment. His eyes welled with tears. His baby girl wasn't a baby anymore. She was growing up into a big cutie. Her hair was up in wavy pigtails.  Amber ran straight towards him and he swept her up and hugged her close. 

"Buffy, can I talk to you for a moment?" William asked putting Amber back down on the floor. He took Amber's small hand into his big one. He led them through the kitchen and outside. 

Buffy sat down on the bench and looked at William. He was acting differently. Something about him was strange, yet somehow familiar. His vibe was harder and stronger. He seemed tougher and solid. He seemed sure of whom he was. He didn't seem lost or confused. 

"What's wrong, William?"  Buffy asked concerned. William sat Amber down next to Buffy and smiled. These were his girls. 

"I don't know how to say this," William started. "So I guess I will just say it. It's me, love." Buffy stared at him blankly. 

"Yes, William," Buffy said nodding slowly. "It's you. It's me and it's Amber. What's your point?" 

"It's Spike," William tried. "Spike is me. I am Spike." Buffy stared at William for a moment and shook her head. 

"No," Buffy said standing up. She looked down at Amber. 

"Sweetie, would you go inside for a moment?" Buffy asked sweetly. Amber jumped off the bench and nodded. 

"Yes, mommy," Amber said softly. William stopped the child and kissed her on the head. 

"Be very careful kitten," William whispered. "I think Uncle Angel has some treats in his pocket." Amber smiled and ran inside. 

"How can you do this?" Buffy asked, clearly upset. Her eyes were wide and full of tears. 

"I'm not lying, love," William said soothingly. Buffy put up her hand. 

"William, stop," Buffy said in an emotional voice. "You can't be Spike. Spike died in the explosion." 

"Pet, if I was dead," William said evenly. "Then why are you alive? Remember; when one of us dies then both of us die. I wasn't killed in the explosion. Farm Boy died when I shot him in the head, not me." 

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" Buffy hissed. "You are not my husband. I really don't want to see you right now." She turned and walked inside and slammed the door. William stood there staring after her.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"You did what you could, Ella," Joyce said putting her hand on Ella's shoulder. Ella looked over at Joyce. 

"I'm going to have to have a talk with Buffy," Ella said. Joyce shook her head. 

"My daughter is stubborn," Joyce said with a smile. "I think her beloved has other plans. Let them work this one out by themselves." Ella nodded and watched as William walked inside the door. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"What are you going to do?" Angel asked later on that evening. 

He had come by to check on Spike. He knew he wouldn't handle Buffy's rejection well. It wasn't like Buffy was handling things very well either. She went straight down to the training room and beat on the punching bag. She was still punching when he left.

Spike walked out in his classic outfit, with his hair bleached. He looked the same except a few years older and a little worn out. 

"I'm going to show her that William the Bloody is back," Spike said striding across the room. His duster waving in the air. They got up and went back to Buffy's house. 

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Angel asked as he opened the door to the house. Spike nodded and pointed for him to go in. 

He walked into the house as Angel called Buffy downstairs. Spike stood at the bottom when Buffy emerged. She stood at the top, staring down at Spike. He looked up at her, with a grim face. 

"Spike?" Buffy asked faintly as she moved swiftly down the stairs. She ran straight into his arms and wrapped her arms around him.  She pulled back and looked at him before she passed out. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Spike carried Buffy over to the couch and lay her down. He pushed a golden lock that had fallen in front of her face. He still saw her as his angel. Her angelic face had yet to grow older. It seemed years just made her look more beautiful. He longed to feel her lips and touch her again. 

"Mommy?" a small tired voice said from behind Spike. 

He turned and looked at Amber, rubbing her eye and holding her count doll. Her blond locks were all a mess and she was in her pink little nightgown with the big bird on the front. He could of sworn he had never seen a more adorable creature then the child that stood in the door way. 

"What's wrong, Amber?" Angel asked walking over to the child. Amber motioned him to pick her up.  Lifting her into his arms, Amber laid her head softly on his shoulder. 

"I had a bad dream that big green hairy monsters chased after me, saying they were going to kill me," Amber said as tears welled in her eyes. Spike tried his hardest not to run over and take Amber from Angel. She was his child and yet she clung to Angel. 

_She has grown up knowing him as her father figure_, Spike reminded himself. 

Amber looked over at Spike, with large eyes full of fear.  She clung to Angel as he walked closer to Spike. 

"Who's he?" Amber asked in a sheepish voice. Angel looked at Amber then back at Spike. 

"It's William," Angel answered. Amber shook her head and poked Angel in the cheek. 

"That's wrong, Uncle Angel," Amber said in a tough little voice. "Willie has brown curly hair and he wears colors." Angel tried not to laugh as Spike stood up. 

"Hey, kitten," Spike purred. 

Amber's eyes lit up as she realized it was true. She let go of Angel struggling from his arms, trying to get to Spike. Angel put Amber in Spike's arms and quietly left the room. 

"Willie," Amber said in a small voice. "Why is your hair so white?" Spike smirked and kissed her forehead. 

"I thought a change would do me good," Spike answered walking over to the chair. He sat her on his lap and she cuddled close to him. Spike was amazed how quickly she fell asleep. 

*  *  *

Buffy opened her eyes. The sun was beaming through the big windows. She looked around the room. She was in the living room. She didn't remember falling asleep. She sat up and was struck by an image. Spike was sound asleep in the chair with his arm wrapped securely around Amber. 

"Am I dreaming?" Buffy asked softly to herself.  

She stared at them and everything suddenly came back from the night before. William claiming he was Spike and then Spike standing at the bottom of the stairs. Her running to Spike right before everything had gone black. 

Buffy's breath become rigid and she jumped off the couch quickly. She ran towards the kitchen and down the stairs to Angel. He was sleeping on the cot and she grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him awake. 

"Angel!" Buffy cried. 

Angel's eyes shot open and he saw Buffy staring at him. Her face was pale and it looked like she had seen a ghost. He automatically knew she had seen Spike. 

"Is something wrong?" Angel asked. 

Without, a word Buffy grabbed Angel's hand and dragged him up stairs and to the living room. She moved him so he had a clear image of Spike and Amber sleeping. He had to say they looked cute together. 

"Is it me or…." 

Dawn walked into the living and gasped. She grabbed her camera and snapped about a dozen pictures. Buffy didn't even get to finish her sentence as she watched her sister break into tears after snapping pictures. Angel rushed over to Dawn as she fell to her knees crying. 

Spike opened his eyes and saw the mayhem taking place all around him. Dawn was crying her eyes out and Angel was trying to calm down. Buffy just stood there, staring, not able to say what she desperately wanted to say. He felt Amber stir and finally wake up. She looked up at Spike and smiled. 

"Morning, Willie," Amber whispered. Spike smiled back at her. 

"Morning, kitten," Spike whispered. It seemed the room all of a sudden fallen silent. He looked at everyone. Dawn was staring at him just like she did yesterday, except with more emotion. 

"Nibblet, you all right?" Spike asked. Dawn got up and ran over to Spike. She clung to him like there was no tomorrow. Amber looked at them with a confused face. 

"Aunt Dawnie, why did Willie call you Nibblet?" Amber asked innocently. Dawn pulled back from the embrace, wiping away tears and smiled at Amber. 

"Willie is an old friend of mine and it's his nick name for me," Dawn answered.  Amber smiled and looked at Spike.

"Can you call me Nibblet too?" Amber asked. Spike laughed, his eyes gleaming with joy. 

"Of course, princess," Spike answered. "I can call you whatever you want me too." 

Angel walked up from behind them, overwhelmed by everything. 

"Can we save the reunion for later?" Angel asked. "I think William and Buffy need some time alone." Dawn nodded and picked up Amber. 

"Come on, Amber," Dawn said kindly. "I'll make you pancakes." 

"PANCAKES!" Amber cried for joy. 

Spike smiled and looked over at Buffy. She was just standing there, feet planted to the ground. Her eyes were full of tears and she was trembling slightly. He walked over to her slowly; close enough to see her lip gently quivering. 

 "Are you all right, luv?" Spike said softly. He walked closed to her and touched her arm. His touch broke the dam and her tears began to flow. 

"How…" Buffy barely got out before her emotions took over her. Spike pulled her into an embrace. She clung to him as she cried. 

"Please tell me this isn't a dream," Buffy wept. Spike smiled to himself and kissed her on the head. 

"It's not a dream, pet," Spike whispered. "I'm here." Her sobs were making her body shake. He scooped her up and took her back over to the couch. 

"You died so long ago," Buffy whispered, pulling back. 

She wiped her face and stared at him. His shining blue eyes were gleaming with love for her.

"I know," Spike said shyly. "I will do my best to make up for the time I have missed. I'll work with Xander again. I'll help Pop with the Magic Shop and I'll take Amber to the park." 

"How am I going to tell Amber that her dad is alive?" Buffy asked laying her head on his shoulder. 

He took in her vanilla scent and smiled. He missed having her in his arms. He missed the scent of vanilla, but he mostly missed the feel of her against him. He missed her kisses and her hands on his body. He missed all of her. 

"We'll figure something out," Spike assured her. "Right now, I'm, just her good pal Willie." Spike shuddered as a memory flashed before him. 

"What?" Buffy asked lifting her head. He looked at her and smiled. He ran his fingers through her long golden locks. 

"Dru used to call me Willie," Spike answered. "I guess she was always like a child."

Buffy eyed him.  He looked older then she remembered and yet he seemed the same. He was still as caring and stubborn as ever. 

"Kiss me," Buffy said bluntly. Spike looked at her, surprised. 

"Come again, pet?" Spike asked, not even trying to hide his shock. Buffy sat straight up. 

"Spike, it has been five years, three months, and four days since you have kissed me," Buffy rambled. "I want you to kiss me. I need to feel your lips." 

Spike smiled and wrapped his arm around her waist. He pulled her close. He didn't need to be told again. He leaned down and touched her lips with his. 

At first it was slow then all the emotions that had been held in for five long years took over and it soon turned heated and passionate. Their hands started exploring each other's body. 

Dawn smiled widely and looked over at Angel. He was leaning against the island and entertaining Amber, playing around with the spoons. She was laughing up a storm. 

"I hate to interrupt this fun session but I do owe my niece a day at the park," Dawn said smiling. Angel looked up at her confused then realized what she was doing. He stood up straight.

"They aren't having…"Angel stopped and looked at Amber. "S E X, Are they?" Dawn nodded, as a confused look crossed Amber's face. She nodded and winked at him. 

"Not yet," Dawn answered. "But they're close to it. I'd hate to be here when they start the romping." Amber kept looking back and forth. 

Dawn helped Amber down from the chair and took her by the hand, heading for the stairs. She hurried Amber up the stairs and into her room. 

"Aunt Dawn, what does S E X spell?" Amber asked curiously. Dawn smirked as she pulled out a tiny pair of jeans for Amber. 

"I'll tell you when you're older," Dawn answered as she pulled out a long sleeve pink shirt. "Now play with your dolls while I go change."  Amber nodded and got down on to the floor to start playing with her dolls. 

Dawn walked out of the room and saw Angel heading up stairs. He looked drained. She surpassed her laughter. 

"It's getting heated down there," Angel whispered. 

"I warned you," Dawn teased. "Would you mind getting Amber ready while I change? My brother-in-law and sister need some major alone time." 

"Why do I feel like we're being the parents while Buffy is acting like a teenager?" Angel asked. Dawn shrugged. 

"I think it's because we're helping Buffy out," Dawn answered. "She has been alone far too long. Plus, I think it would be nice for Spike and her to have sometime alone together."

"They're already in the basement," Angel said annoyed. "When I was cleaning dishes, they ran down there and locked the door. It wasn't long before I heard moaning and the "Oh God's". I think they are going for another round as we speak." 

Dawn closed her eyes and cringed. The flash of her walking in on Spike and Buffy during sex was a horrific image. Spike was just getting on top of her. She would never forget it. 

"Thanks for bringing back the memory," Dawn whined. She walked passed him and into her room. 

*  *  *

Buffy lay her head against Spike's sweaty chest. She could feel Spike's heart beating under her. It was this that shocked her, never believing she could hear it again.

"You know you're an animal in the sack," Spike whispered. Buffy giggled and looked up at him.

"You sure know how to sweet talk a girl," Buffy teased. "It's been too long for us." Spike nodded and closed his eyes. 

"Three times in a row," Spike muttered. "I think we're getting too old." Buffy kissed his chest and smiled. 

"Nah," Buffy answered. "I think we are just rusty. We need some oil to get back to normal." 

"We can't do things like we use to, pet," Spike smirked. "Especially with Nibblet up stairs." 

"Dawn is 22, Spike," Buffy said sitting up. "She knows all about sex." 

"I wasn't talking about her," Spike corrected. "I was talking about our sweet little Amber." Buffy's face went into shock.

"I'm a horrible mother," Buffy said putting her hands on her face. "I forgot about Amber." 

She grabbed her clothes and pulled them, throwing Spike's pants at him.

"Now, love," Spike began, but Buffy cut him off. 

"We have a daughter now, Spike. You know that. We can't go romping around like we used to. We have to wait for these things." 

"You're the boss, pet. I'm just your willing slave." 

Buffy rolled her eyes as her shirt moved into place. She could Spike's eyes watching her every move. It made herself more self conscious and more aware that she had changed. He was still cocky as ever and he was still sexy. His body was more built then she remembered. 

She shook off the thought as she felt herself get hot for him again. She couldn't allow it. Not until they had the house to themselves. 

"Spike," Buffy said softly. Spike looked up at her as he fastened his belt.

"Yes, love," Spike said softly. Buffy walked over to him slowly and wrapped her arms around him.

"Don't ever leave me," Buffy said softly. 

Spike closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her. He still could remember feeling lonely and like something was missing when he had lost his memory. He felt so isolated. He'd tried to bond with people but it just wouldn't work. 

"I don't plan of leaving any time soon," Spike whispered.

Angel sat in the living room with Amber sound asleep in his lap. He dreaded leaving them but he had to. He wasn't needed around here. Spike was back and Amber had a strong father figure around now. The only thing he had to worry about was Dawn. 

"Hey," Spike said walking into the living room. His hair was a mess and didn't try to hide what he and Buffy were up to. 

"Hey," Angel said as he smirked at Spike.  Spike sat down next Angel. Angel looked back at the television.

"I'm leaving," Angel said bluntly. Spike looked over at him and sighed. 

"Is it because I'm back?" Spike asked. Angel didn't look at him. He kept his eyes on the television. 

"You're the main reason I stayed here as long as I have," Angel answered. "I wanted to make sure Buffy was back on her feet before I left but she never really got back on her feet.  She always had nightmares that shook her to the core.  William came along and I thought finally she would move on and have someone to help her. The things changed.  Dawn and I became closer and we found out you were alive and that it was just a matter of time before you got your memory back." 

"This thing with my Nibblet," Spike said in a warning tone. "You better be good to her. If you break her heart I will have to come after you with a stake." Angel let out a sigh.

"I'm not going to go any further with Dawn," Angel whispered. "I'm going to go through the trials." Spike stared at him stunned. 

"You could get yourself killed," Spike said evenly. "I nearly bloody did." 

"Spike, you can't be killed," Angel joked. "Neither can I. We can last through anything." 

"Can I ask why you're going through the trials?" Spike asked. 

Angel finally looked over at him. His face was serious and hard. Spike never had seen him so dark before. 

"I want to become human," Angel answered. "I want to be able to provide for Dawn." 

"Tired of immortality, huh?" Spike teased. Angel rolled his eyes. 

"I hope you are going talk to Dawn about this." 

"I thought maybe I shouldn't," Angel said with a shrug. 

"You will skip over up to Dawn's room and you will tell her about everything," Spike said strictly. 

"You're not my boss," Angel said defensively. Spike took Amber from his arms. 

"No, but I know how to use a bloody stake," Spike said standing up. "I can and will stake you right and proper if you hurt Dawn." 

Buffy walked into the room as Angel left. She looked at Spike as he held Amber in the chair rocking her gently.  He was softly caressing her back. She thought she'd never seen a cuter image. 

"So, why is Angel so huffy and puffy?" Buffy asked, sitting on the footrest. 

"He's just frustrated," Spike answered. He looked down at his daughter and kissed her on the head. Buffy tried to hold back tears. 

"What is he frustrated about?" Buffy asked, trying her best to stay on topic. 

"Many things, pet," Spike answered. "Mostly because he isn't getting any." Buffy smacked Spike on the leg. 

"You're horrible," Buffy said with a small grin. Spike smiled and shrugged. 

"I can't express how much I've missed you," Buffy said as tears welled up in her eyes. 

Spike stopped rocking. He placed his free hand on her face and caressed her cheek. This was his life. This was how it was supposed to be if Riley didn't interfere with it.

"I thought you expressed it quite well early this morning," Spike teased. Buffy shooed his hand off of her. 

Dawn came running down the stairs, tears streaming down her face with Angel following close behind her.  They both looked upset. 

"You can't do it!" Dawn yelled whipping around. Angel put his hands on her shoulders. 

"I have to, Dawn," Angel said impatiently. "It's the only way we will work out." 

"Who cares if you're a vampire," Dawn growled. 

"I do!" Angel yelled. "I'm cursed with a soul. We could do things that would bring Angelus back out. I won't let that happened… Not again." 

"Hey, you guys want to keep it down," Spike said harshly. "Not all of us sleep like the dead." Amber opened her tired eyes and yawned.  

"Daddy, make them quiet," Amber whispered, cuddling closer to Spike. She drifted back to sleep. 

The room fell quiet. Everyone stared at Amber and Spike. He was staring down at her. His heart clenched in his chest and his breath caught in his throat. Buffy was shaking. Dawn and Angel shared looks. 

"She called me Daddy," Spike whispered. A smile took form on her face and she wrapped her tiny arms around him. 

"You're her father," Buffy whispered in their embrace. She pulled back and looked at Angel and Dawn. 

"If you two are going to continue yelling, then do it outside or upstairs," Buffy said in her commander voice. "Amber needs to sleep." 

Spike scooped Amber up and headed for the stairs. Her little eyes opened more. She smiled at Spike. 

"Willie, can I ask you a question?" Amber asked in a sheepish voice. Spike walked into her bedroom and put her on the bed. 

"Of course, kitten," Spike answered. She sat up and got back on to his lap. 

"My daddy is gone and mommy is very sad about it," Amber began. "You're a nice man and she seems to like you. So could you be my daddy?" Spike stared stunned at Amber. He hated the William part of him. He'd never felt so touched in his life. 

"Of course, kitten," Spike answered softly. "But it is up to your mommy." 

Without a word, Amber jumped down from Spike's lap and went running out of the room. Spike got up and ran after her, but Amber was all ready down the stairs by the time he'd reached the top of the staircase.

"Bloody hell, that child is fast," Spike silently cursed. 

He ran down the stairs, the image of him running after Riley all too vivid in his brain.  He wished he could go back in time and fix it. But it was the past and there was nothing he could do about it. 

"Mommy, can Willie be my daddy," Amber asked, standing in front of Buffy. 

The room fell silent again. Spike stopped at the doorway. Everyone looked at him then looked back at Buffy and Amber. 

_I guess I better tell her now_, Buffy thought. _She will find out sooner or later_. 

Buffy picked Amber up and sat her on her lap. She moved the hair out of her face and stared at her daughter. She had her father's cheek bones but her mother's eyes. She had his lips and curly hair, but her mother's lips and hair color. 

"Amber, sweetie, there is something I need to tell you," Buffy said in a motherly tone. Amber stared at Buffy with her hazel eyes shimmering in the setting sun. 

"Willie is your daddy," Buffy said slowly. Amber's eyes widened and looked over at Spike. He was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and he looked scared, yet hopeful. 

Amber moved off of Buffy's lap and walked over to Spike slowly. Her hazel eyes never leaving his blue ones. They were full of tears. She stopped only a few inches from him, staring at him. 

"Daddy?" Amber whispered before running and wrapping her arms around his legs. 

Spike couldn't be strong anymore. He bent down and picked Amber up as he began to cry. He fell to his knees holding his daughter, never wanting to let her go.  Amber clung to Spike like there was no tomorrow. 

"I love you, Daddy," Amber whispered. 

Spike didn't care if he looked like a nancy boy.  He just began to cry harder.  His daughter loved him and that was all that mattered. He had his family again. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Spike walked into the Magic shop with Amber in his arms, with Buffy at his side holding his hand. Giles and Willow stared at them as the reality hit. Spike was _really alive_. He had a family that clung to him. 

"Grandpa Giles," Amber yelled cheerfully.  

By way she was acting, you would never have known that just a few days ago she was clinging to her father on the floor crying. 

"Hello Amber," Giles greeted. Amber smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek, when Spike leaned forward. 

"How are you these days?" Giles asked Amber. Amber's face lit up and she wrapped her arms around Spike's neck. 

"I got my daddy back," Amber said excitedly. 

Giles looked over at Spike. Spike's eyes filled with so much emotion by Amber's comment. It was easy to see that Spike had softened. 

Giles just remained quiet. Willow walked over and looked at Spike. He did have a new scar on his left cheek. 

"How does it feel to be a family man again?" Willow asked with a smile. Amber laid her head on Spike's shoulder. 

"I have to say it is probably the greatest thing about my life," Spike answered. 

"Jeez, cheesy sitcom much?" Buffy asked trying to cover her swelling love for Spike. 

"Oh hush, pet," Spike smirked. "You know you love every last bit of it." 

Buffy just shrugged and placed a kiss on his cheek. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. 

"You two are like the perfect couple," Willow cooed. "So, when are you guys going to start trying for another one?" Buffy stared blankly at Willow. 

"I'm not going through the pain again," Buffy said stepping out of Spike's arms. 

"But trying is most of the fun," Spike teased. 

"Spike, child present," Buffy reminded him. Spike looked down at his curious daughter. 

"I want a baby sister," Amber said, mimicking her mother's pout. 

"Bloody hell, she has your pout, pet," Spike said as his heart melted looking at Amber. 

"Spike, watch your language," Buffy hissed. 

"What does Bloody Hell mean?" Amber asked innocently. Willow broke into a fit of giggles as Buffy scowled at Spike. 

"Amber, Bloody hell is a bad word," Buffy said strictly. "You must never use it again." Amber nodded and started moping again. 

Spike sucked in his curse and kissed Amber's head. 

"Don't worry, kitten," Spike said cheerfully. "Daddy will buy his extra special princess something at the toy store." Amber's face lit up. 

"Spike, don't be spoiling her," Buffy wined. "The scooby gang does enough of that." Willow was hardly breathing now. 

"Easy there, Red," Spike said, smirking at Willow. "You might suffocate on your laugh." Buffy hit him in the arm. 

"Stop it," Buffy whispered. 

Buffy pulled Willow into the training room and sat her down on the couch. 

"Ok, Wills," Buffy said putting her hands on her hips. "What's the funny joke?" 

"It was just hearing Amber say Bloody hell," Willow said in between laughs. "She sounds like Spike." 

"Yeah," Buffy said sitting down next to her. "He is going to have to learn about having a five year old around the house." Willow took a few breaths and settled herself down. 

"Aw, Buffy," Willow said calmly. "I think he is trying to make up for missing out on watching Amber grow up in five years. The spoiling thing is just a dad thing." 

"How do you know that?" Buffy asked. 

"Because Xander does it with Brandon all the time," Willow answered. "Oh, I can't wait for Xander to bring Brandon around today. Xander and Spike will be talking for hours." 

"Oh goodie," Buffy said less enthusiastically. Willow patted her on the shoulder. 

"How is it having Spike home?" Willow asked softly. Buffy looked at her and smiled. 

"It's nice to be sleeping in his arms again," Buffy answered. "It's nice to share some of the punishing of Amber." 

"So, he does lay down the law," Willow said with a small smile. Buffy nodded. 

"Yeah," Buffy agreed. "He just cuddles and loves Amber so much. I saw the pain in his eyes yesterday as he watched her play with her new count doll. You could tell he was regretting not being there for all those years. I can see his inner turmoil, trying to figure out why the government lied to him. There are so many unanswered questions for both of us to deal with. To top it all off, Spike is training Angel for the trails." 

"Do you think he's too stretched out?" Willow asked concerned. Buffy shook her head. 

"No," Buffy answered. "He's worried about Angel and he's worried about Dawn. Hell, I'm worried about them. She took it so hard when she learned Angel was going to the trails. She sat in her room and cried for hours. Angel had to go in and talked to her." 

"So, Dawn and Angel?" Willow said surprised. 

"Yeah," Buffy answered. "My sister and my ex-boyfriend. Who would have thought?"

"Well we do live on the Hellmouth," Willow said matter-of-factly. "This is the only place were a vampire and a slayer will fall in love and have a kid together. I mean we all fell for some kind of creature." 

"I have to agree with you on that," Buffy said with a smile. "It's the only place where a mystical key is my kid sister and my first love was a vampire cursed with a soul." 

Dawn sat on the couch, staring at the television. She wasn't paying attention to it. Instead she was thinking about what Angel was doing. He was going to go to the trials and get himself killed. 

She didn't like the idea of it. It was like him going off to the war and she would have to wait for him to come back home. Except it was a demon version and there wasn't a war. 

"Hey," Angel said softly. 

Dawn looked over at Angel distantly. Her pain still evident in her eyes. Angel hated just seeing it, knowing that he caused it. 

"Hi," Dawn said softly. 

She was trying to fight back tears. He could tell. He had to be her shoulder. He was falling madly in love with her. He walked over to Dawn and sat down. 

"Dawn, I'm doing this for us," Angel whispered touching her hand. "I don't like being the source of your pain, but once I return human you will realize I did it for the right reasons." 

"Name one of those wonderful reasons," Dawn said harshly. 

Angel picked up her hand and kissed it. 

"I'm falling in love with you, Dawn Mary Summers," Angel said with a smirk. He reached in his pocket and placed a diamond ring on her finger. 

"OH MY GOD!" Dawn cried looking at the ring. 

"When I return I want us to be married," Angel said trying to stay calm. "That's if you are in love with me." 

"Oh Angel!" Dawn cried. "I love you so much. I have for years. I will marry you." 

Angel gave a huge smile and they wrapped their arms around each other.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Spike, stop that!" Buffy yelled as he kept tickling her on her side. 

They were at the park with Xander and Anya. Amber and Brandon were sitting in the sand box playing with each other. 

"Will you two knock of the foreplay?" Xander asked as he wrapped his arms around Anya. 

"Yeah, you guys seem to be glowing," Buffy smirked leaning into Spike. Spike wrapped his arm around her. 

"You shouldn't be talking," Xander smirked. "I haven't seen you smile this much since you two had Amber." 

"Hey, it was a joyous occasion," Spike said defensively. "I had a right to smile. I get to fight off all the boys that come within five feet of my princess." 

"Spike, you can't lock her in a closet," Buffy said slapping his arm. "She has to move out and have her own little babies." 

"Whoa, guys," Xander said putting up his hand. "We're talking about many years from now. Let's bask while their still youngsters and don't talk back." 

"So, you two thought about another one?" Anya asked. 

"Why does everyone ask us that?" Buffy asked annoyed. 

"Because we're having another one," Anya said bluntly. Buffy stared wide eyed at Anya and Xander. 

"Congratulations," Buffy cooed. Spike shook his head. 

"I didn't think you still had it in ya, Harris," Spike smirked. Xander rolled his eyes. 

"Well you better start thinking about another one," Xander said. 

"Let me just cuddle my little girl for a long while before another one," Spike said looking back at Amber. 

"Amber, don't put that sand in Brandon's hair!" Spike yelled.  

Brandon threw sand at Amber. Amber dumped sand down Brandon's shirt. 

"Kids," Xander sighed.

Spike and Xander let go of their wives and walked over to the kids. Spike scooped up Amber and Xander picked up Brandon. Both men wiped the sand off their children. 

"Amber, I think you need to apologize to Brandon," Spike said, dusting off her sundress.

"He did it first," Amber said with a pout. 

"Amber, that didn't give you the right to put sand in Brandon's hair," Spike said sternly. "Now I want you to go over and apologize." Amber nodded sadly and turned.

"Brandon has something to say," Xander said with his hands on his son's shoulder. Brandon scowled at his father, then looked reluctantly at Amber.

"I'm sorry," Brandon muttered. 

"Say it a little louder," Xander ordered. Brandon kicked the grass like it was the grass's fault.

"I'm sorry," Brandon said a bit louder. 

"Thank you, Brandon," Spike said kindly. "Amber, don't you have something to say to Brandon." 

"No," Amber muttered. Spike shook his head. 

_Stubborn as a mule,  just like her mum_, Spike thought. 

"Amber," Spike said in a warning tone. Amber caught it and sighed. 

"I'm sorry, Harris," Amber said. Spike tried not to laugh at the word Harris. 

"Apology accepted," Xander said kindly. "Now Brandon, you go grab your stuff. We're leaving." 

"You scoot off too, princess," Spike said. "Go grab your doll. It's time for you to take your nap." 

"But I'm not tired," Amber whined. Brandon didn't even move. Xander took a deep breath. 

"Brandon, go grab your stuff or you won't be able to have desert and you certainly won't be watching any television," Xander said in a warning tone. Brandon scowled at his dad. 

"I'm not ready to go home," Brandon whined as he stomped off. Amber followed. 

"I swear those two are like night and day," Xander said to Spike. "One minute, they are the best of friends the next, they are fighting like cats and dogs." 

"I have to agree with you on that," Spike smirked. "I think a nap will do them right and proper." 

"It's strange," Xander said they walked back to the bench. "You are a totally different person when you are around Amber, than you are around us." 

"What can is say, I have multiple personalities," Spike said with a shrug. 

"There are many sides of you," Buffy chimed in. "There's the lover, the husband, friend, and father. So many sides of you and so few of them get to be seen." 

* * *

Willow sat at her laptop searching the web for anything about a Government cover up. She thought maybe there was a reason they had lied to Spike about who he was. 

"I found something," Willow yelled. Giles came out of the storage room with a book in hand. 

"What did you find?" Giles asked walking over to the table. 

"I was searching for government experiments on the net and it seems that there has been more then one mess up," Willow said informatively. "According to one article the explosion was a set up. It seems someone was supposed to set off the bomb in the building and kill everyone." 

"Good lord," Giles whispered. 

He took off his glasses and cleaned them. Willow smiled and looked back at the screen. 

"It seems their main target was someone called David James," Willow continued. "It seemed that David had too much information about the government's investigation on the demon world. He decided to destroy the operation. So he set off the bomb and the place blew to bits." 

"Almost killing William," Giles said in disbelief. "Why would he care about the operation if he was human?" 

"Well I was wondering that myself so I looked up David James on the government list of people and it seems he had married a very nice vampire. I bet you'll never guess who it is," Willow said teasingly. 

"Willow, now isn't the time for guessing games," Giles said in warning tone. 

"Well it turns out that he's married to a dark goddess by the name of Drusilla," Willow said.  

Giles stared at Willow stunned then took in a deep breath. 

"Does it say if Drusilla is still alive?" Giles asked. 

"No, it doesn't, but I do remember Angel telling me about Drusilla paying a visit to our amnesia friend on the way home," Willow answered. "So I take it that she's still as alive as a vampire could be."  Giles nodded. 

"I think we need to warn Spike and Buffy," Giles said getting up. 

"Not yet," Willow said softly. "Let them have a few more days, Giles. Buffy has just gotten Spike back and they are dealing with Angel going through the trials. They don't need anymore stress." 

"This could be serious, Willow," Giles said sternly. "This isn't the time to coddle them, especially with Drusilla involved." 

"Giles, calm down," Willow said. "Give them another day then we will tell them. Plus, we are having that party for Spike tomorrow. You know a party never hurt anyone."

Giles rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed. It was set. Tomorrow they would break the bad news, Drusilla was back in town.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Daddy!" Amber cried. 

Spike walked into Amber's room and saw her all tangled up in her night shirt. He tried to stifle a laugh.  He had to admit life wasn't half bad. He had a daughter that loved him and a wife that couldn't keep her hands off of him. His sister-in-law was probably more like a daughter more then anything else. 

"What are you doing, princess?" Spike asked rushing over to her. He fixed the night shirt and pulled it right. 

"I wanted to put on my pajamas all by myself," Amber said with a sad smile. "I wanted to show you, I could be a big girl."

Spike sighed and sat down on the bed. He wished he had been around to see her first walk and word.

"You will always be daddy's big girl, Kitten," Spike said picking Amber up and sitting her on his lap. "Don't try to grow up too fast, because Daddy likes his little girl as well." 

"Vanessa's dad says little girls are meant for play pens and big girls are made for school," Amber said with a pout. "Where do I fit in?" 

_Note to self: I must remember to yell at Vanessa's dad,_ Spike thought sourly.

"Your perfect the way you are," Spike said sweetly. "Amber, you fit in the middle. You are a big girl in my eyes. You have to learn to ignore what people have to say about you. All you have to know is that your daddy and mommy love you very much and will beat up any parent who says you aren't worth anything." 

Her greens eyes twinkled with joy of her father's acceptance.  Her face was lit up by her huge smile. Spike could have sworn that he had never felt more loved then he did when his little girl's eyes sparkled with love.

"I love you, daddy," Amber said with a huge smile. 

"I love you too, kitten," Spike said giving her a kiss on the head. "Now let's get you into your bedy by."  

Amber got off Spike's lap and waited for him to get up and pull back the covers. She climbed in and got settled. He gave her count doll and kissed her on the forehead. 

"Night, kitten," Spike whispered turning off the lamp. 

"Good night, daddy," Amber whispered before falling asleep. 

Spike headed for the door and stopped. He stared at Amber's sleeping figure. She looked so innocent. All he wanted to do was protect her all her life from the pain of the world. 

Spike closed the door and was met by Buffy, standing in front of Dawn's door. Her face covered in a sweet smile. 

"You really know how to handle her," Buffy said softly. 

Spike walked and pulled her into a hug. 

"She's my daughter," Spike said. "Of course I know how to handle her. Just like I know how to handle her mum." Buffy squealed softly as Spike started kissing her neck. 

"Stop it," Buffy squealed, pulling away from him. "Angel and Dawn have to talk to us." Spike sighed. 

"Can't it wait until morning?" Spike asked impatient. "I want my wife right now." 

"Later Spike," Buffy said weakly. 

He pulled away and let her lead the way. He followed her down stairs and into the living room. Dawn and Angel were already sitting on the couch. They both were holding hands and sitting close. 

"I suddenly don't like this closeness between the two of you," Spike said sitting down in the chair, looking at the two skeptically. Buffy sat on top of his lap and absently started playing with his hair.

"Well, we wanted to tell you this before Angel leaves for the trials," Dawn said eagerly. 

"Well spill," Buffy said, tired of waiting. 

"Angel and I are getting married," Dawn said happily. 

Buffy and Spike stared at them in shock. Just as they were going to say something, Giles and Willow came bursting through the door. 

"Buffy, bad news," Willow said worriedly. "Drusilla is back." 

"What?" Buffy asked surprised. Spike looked over at Angel. 

"Is there a reason?" Spike asked feeling uneasy about it. 

"She wants to turn Spike back into William the bloody," Willow answered. 


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Sorry it's been a while since I updated. I had writer's block and school has been hectic. I promise I'll try to update more. Chapter 9 

Spike stared at Willow then looked back at Angel and Dawn. Everything was happening in one sweep. It was too much to handle. Dawn was getting married to Angel and Drusilla was back to turn him back into the demon he once was.

"Ok, let me process everything," Spike said breaking the yelling in the room. "My nibblet is getting married to Peaches over here, and Dru is trying to bring back William the bloody. I've only had my memory back for only a few days and mayhem has all ready come back. That's just bloody brilliant."

Buffy looked sadly at Spike. He had been through so much all ready. He had to add to the plate.

"It's ok, Spike," Buffy whispered. "We'll get through it,"

Spike looked at her doubtfully, but didn't say anything.

"Whoa, Dawnie is getting married?" Willow asked stunned.

Angel looked over at Spike. His face had almost turned to the color of paper. He figured it was the stress of everything that was going on.

"Hey, how about we discuss this later," Angel suggested. "I think we all need a good night sleep."

"It's only eight," Dawn said looking at Angel in surprise.

"I can fix some tea," Buffy offered. "We all can go into the dining room and sit down at the table and talk."

Everyone nodded except Spike. Buffy kept her eyes on him as everyone retreated to the dining room.

"Are you all right?" Buffy asked softly. Spike looked up at her and shook his head.

"It's like my nightmare is coming true," Spike whispered. Buffy stared at him at him confused.

"You had a dream of becoming William the bloody?" Buffy asked.

"Five years ago pet," Spike answered getting up. "I am going for a stroll. I need to clear my mind."

"Spike," Buffy said in a soothing voice. "Please stay. We can handle this together. It's what we do. It's what we used to do."

"Yeah, but last time I wasn't involved," Spike fought back.

Buffy looked at him confused wondering why he was acting this way. Then she saw it. For the first time ever she saw real fear in his eyes.

"You're scared, aren't you?" Buffy asked lightly touching his arm.

He looked at her and turned his head away from the sympathy he read in her expression.

"I can't help it, pet," Spike said barely over a whisper. "I don't want to see anything happen to you and Amber. Not after last time."

_So that's what it's about_, Buffy thought. _He regrets not being able to save Amber and me_. _Well now that all makes sense_.

"Spike, it wasn't your fault," Buffy said soothingly. "I don't want you to beat your self up over the past. You tried your best. I know that you did. I have to admit that I felt guilty when I thought you were dead that I didn't try to save you."

He turned his head and looked at her. His big blue eyes shimmered with tears that threatened to spill. He was aching so badly over regret of the past and for missing five years of his daughter's life. He wished he had a time machine to go back in time and change everything.

"You would have died," Spike whispered.

His voice was cracking of the sudden memory of Buffy's body lying on the rubble when they battled Glory. He'd wanted so badly to go revive her and make her alive again no matter if he was dead or not.

"Yeah, but then at least I would have been with you," Buffy said softly.

She hated seeing the pain in his eyes. She hadn't realized that she had that big of impact on his life. It seemed that his life revolved around her, Dawn, and Amber.

"Look, we can't have you…."

Buffy was interrupted by a child's piercing scream. Spike rushed passed Buffy. He was the first one on the stairs. His heart was pounding against his chest as the scream continued. He burst open the door and standing at the window was his old dark goddess.

"Daddy!" Amber cried with her scared voice. He walked over and swept Amber up into his arms.

"Get out of here, Dru," Spike hissed.

"But Spike, you promised princess that you would kill the slayer," Drusilla said in a childish voice.

"Get out of here, Dru," Spike repeated.

Amber's little arms wrapped around Spike's neck as she hid her face in his shoulder, terrified of the strange woman.

"She's such a tiny wonder," Drusilla said gazing at Amber. "Won't you let me get a taste, Spike? Just like you used to do for me."

"I'll kill you, Dru," Spike threatened. "Don't you dare think I won't kill you."

"Oh, Spike," Drusilla wined. "This little morsel is yours. How could you go against princess? She's got you wrapped around her bloody finger like a sodding slave."

"Shut your gob," Spike hissed.

He put Amber on the floor and he squatted down next to her.

"Kitten, I need you to run to mummy and stay with her," Spike said seriously.

Amber's face frightened and shook her head, her little hazel eyes full of tears.

"I'm too scared," Amber said in a small voice.

"You have to be daddy's big strong girl," Spike said in a soothing tone. "You go to mum and tell Uncle Angel that he needs to get up here."

Amber nodded and ran out of the room. Her heart was full of fear. Her little legs carrying as fast as they could. She ran down the stairs and was met by her mother.

"Mommy, there's a scary woman in my room," Amber said with her eyes full of tears. "Daddy wants Uncle Angel to go upstairs." 

Buffy looked over at Angel.

"Angel, please go up and help Spike," Buffy said. Angel nodded and rushed up the stairs with a stake in hand.

"Didn't I tell you to stay away, Drusilla?" Angel asked when he walked into the room.

"I needed my William back," Drusilla groaned.

"Drusilla, just go," Spike ordered. "I never want to see you near my family again or I will stake you right and proper."

He held up the stake Angel had given him.

Drusilla finally just gave up and leapt off the roof.

Angel and Spike looked at each other knowing they hadn't seen the last of her.

Spike sat on the couch as Angel finished packing some last minute things. He was leaving for the trials to become human or get a permanent soul.

"I warn you, Peaches, there will be a git with fire fist," Spike warned. "He maybe a tough one to crack, but I'm sure you can handle it."

"I'll take that into consideration," Angel answered distantly.

Spike got up from the couch and walked over to him. He put his hand on Angel's shoulder.  Angel looked at him and sighed.

"I don't know if I will make it through the trials, Spike," Angel admitted softly. 

"Of course you will Peaches," Spike said confidently. "We can't be killed. It's impossible. Now, you promise you will take care of my nibblet for me."

Dawn stood at the window and watched Spike and Angel walked out to the car that night. Her heart aching knowing that he might not return was too agonizing a thought. She wanted badly to go with him.

Then it hit her. Why couldn't she go with him? He was going to need support and he would be severally injured. He would need someone to care for him. He was going to need someone to clean his wounds and shower him with love to heal faster.

Dawn didn't wait a heartbeat. Her mind was made up. She was going to go with him and stay by his side until the moment either of them died. It didn't matter if it would be soon as long as she was with him.

"Angel!" Dawn cried running out of the house.

Angel stopped and turned to Dawn. He was never good with saying goodbye and he was sad when she didn't say anything, but also glad because he might back out of it. He couldn't do that. He couldn't back out of it. He wanted a normal life with her.

 "Take me with you," Dawn said bluntly.

She hadn't missed a beat. She was going to get it out in the open and made sure people knew that she loved him more then anything in her life.

"What?" Angel cried dropping his suitcase.

"Take me with you," Dawn repeated annoyed and frustrated.

Angel walked over to Dawn and put his hands on her arms. He soothingly rubbed them to keep her warm.

"Dawn, you know you can't come with me," Angel said softly. "You will get your self hurt or killed. I couldn't bear it if you died."

"I couldn't bear to lose you either," Dawn said harshly. "Angel, I won't sit here and wait to see if you come back. I don't want to sit on the couch and wonder if you're dead or not. NO! I won't stand for it. I will go with you. If you do end up dead then I know I was by your side saying good bye to your ashes."

Angel stared at Dawn with his dark mysterious brown eyes full of tears. The thought of Dawn on her knees in tears of grief over him was too strong to ignore or push out of his mind.

"Dawn, I couldn't...I can't do this," Angel said pushing back. "I was hoping I was strong enough for this, but I'm not. I can't bear to have you go through that kind of grief. I wouldn't want you to go through what Buffy did,"

"So, no flight to Africa?' Dawn asked.

Half of her was hopeful and was ready to shrug in relief. The other half was thinking maybe they would have to break up because of his curse. She loved Angel more than anything.

"No, I'm not going to Africa," Angel answered as he pulled Dawn into an embrace.

Buffy stood in the doorway. She leaned against the doorframe with her arms folded and her ankles crossed one over the other one. She had a small smile on her face. Spike just shook his head and headed for the house.

"I really wish he wasn't such a poof," Spike whispered to Buffy.

He stepped over her and walked into the house. Buffy chuckled as she decided she should head inside too.

 A few days had passed. They had all put in major research to find away that Angel could become human without the trials or fulfilling a prophecy. Spike seemed determined to keep Amber, Buffy, and Dawn happy as much as possible while trying to keep Drusilla away from them. The last incident was his last straw.

The family sat in the living room. Dawn and Buffy were looking at all the wedding details as Spike sat across from Angel trying to find some kind of spell that could make Angel human.

"Spike, would you help me pick out a wedding dress?" Dawn asked looking up from her bride's magazine.

"Huh…what?" Spike said startled distantly.

"I asked if you could help me pick out a wedding dress," Dawn repeated.

"Isn't that what your sis is for?" Spike asked confused.

"But Spike, I need a male's opinion," Dawn whined.

"Don't get too ahead of yourself, Dawn," Angel said in a stiff voice. "We might not find a spell for me to keep my soul."

Dawn leapt to her feet. Her eyes were full of fresh tears, but her face said that she was ready to kill at any moment.

"Don't you dare say that Liam," Dawn roared and ran out of the room.

Spike's eyes were wide and he looked over at Angel. Angel was stiff in his chair. He looked like a mannequin . He barely even swallowed.

"Liam?" Spike asked Angel.

"I…I…"

Angel didn't try to finish his sentence. The fit of giggles surprised them as they looked over at Buffy.

She was laying down on her side laughing. She held her stomach as her laughter filled the room.

"What's the funny joke, pet?" Spike asked raising his left scared eyebrow.

She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. Her face hurt from laughing so hard. She took one look at Angel and cracked up again. This time it didn't last so long.

"It's just that Angel's real name is the last four letters of William," Buffy giggled.

Spike smirked and shook his head. His wife definitely had a weird sense of humor. He got up from his chair with his head throbbing of pain.

"It's nice that you find it funny, pet," Spike groaned. "I'm going upstairs to check on the bit. Maybe talk to nibblet."

"You're the man of the hour that needs a lot of rest," Buffy said concerned. "Let me talk to Dawn. You just head up to bed. You've been researching non-stop for three days straight. Let the gang handle this one."

"I will not let them just…"

"I'm not suggesting that you give up looking, but I'm not going to let you give up sleeping," Buffy interrupted. "Now head up to bed and get some much needed rest."

Spike sighed. He wasn't going to fight Buffy on this. He knew he would lose horribly. He just didn't have the energy for it. So he just agreed to it and headed upstairs. He poked his head into Amber's room to find her all cuddled up in her bed. She was squeezing her count doll close to her chest. He smirked and tiptoed in. He kissed her gently on the head then walked back out.

He got into his pajama bottoms, which he was still trying to get used to, and got into bed. The moment his head landed on the pillow he was out.

_The day was bright and beautiful. The water was crystal blue. It looked amazing. Spike sighed wishfully. He was so happy here. Buffy walked up to him in her bikini. Her long golden blonde hair danced in the wind as the sun beat down on it and making it shine brightly. _

_"This must be heaven, pet," Spike sighed. _

_"Well not quite heaven," Buffy reformed. "She wants you, William. Go to her." _

_"Who wants me, love?" Spike asked concerned as storm clouds started rolling in. "What are you talking about? You're all babbles that make no sense." _

_"Your dark princess, Spike.__ Go to her. Let her turn you back into the man you used to be. You know I need evil in my man." _

_Spike stared at her stunned and confused. He didn't even have a chance. His mind flashed to the moment Drusilla changed him.  His face changed immediately and he pounced on Buffy.  He drank from her hard and fast. Her slayer blood rushed through him like a drug. _

Spike sat abruptly up in bed. His face covered in sweat and his breath was heavy. He looked next to him and saw his wife softly sleeping. The early morning light hitting her sun kissed hair. His breath caught in her throat.

He got out of bed slowly so he wouldn't wake her and rushed down the stairs to talk to Angel. He just hoped the poof wasn't asleep yet.

He walked into the living room and saw Angel in the same spot where he'd left him the night before. He walked over and tapped Angel on the shoulder. Angel looked up with a tired face, which turned into concern.

"Spike, are you all right?" Angel asked. "You look a little battered. Didn't sleep well?"

"No, in fact I didn't," Spike, answered. "I think Dru is trying to kill me in my sleep."

"What makes you think that?" Angel asked a little stunned.

Spike sighed and sat down in the chair next to him. He told him about the heavenly scene that soon turned dark. By the time he got to the part of him drinking Buffy's blood he looked like his old vampire self.

"Spike, take a deep breath," Angel advised. "Look this has to be hell for you, but it was just a dream."

"It could have been a premonition," Spike said stiffly.

Angel sighed and rubbed his forehead. They had a scare like this five years ago, but it didn't seem likely to come true. But with Drusilla in town with one thing on her mind, they had to take everything seriously.

"Buffy can only get those, Spike," Angel reminded. "We can't take this too seriously. This was your nightmare for months before Riley came in and turned our lives upside down. Hell! We don't even know if Riley is really dead."

"He's dead," Spike informed. "I shot him in the heart before I made my escape. Even if my shot didn't kill him, he couldn't have made it out of the building. I barely made it out of the sodding building."

Angel sighed and nodded trying not to go back to the memory. It was an awful night no one wanted to go back to.

"Look, why don't we put aside trying to find a spell to make my soul whole," Angel, offered. "I mean we are talking about Drusilla, but even if she is really insane she can create the deadliest mayhem known to us."

"But she needed help from me, you, or both of us," Spike reminded. "So we better keep a look out for a minion."

Buffy's eyes opened abruptly when Amber started bouncing on the bed singing out of tune. She groaned and stopped Amber from jumping. She looked over at the clock and saw it was only seven in the morning. Her body was tired after last night trying to calm Dawn down.

"Mommy, where's daddy?" Amber asked with a huge smile on her face.

"He's probably downstairs working on research," Buffy said trying to stifle a yawn. "Sweetie, why don't you…"

She was interrupted by the sound of the front door flung open. She got up and put on her robe. She headed down stairs and saw Willow standing at the front door holding an old piece of paper. Her face was glowing, but she was out of breath.

"What is it, Will?" Buffy asked as she walked down the stairs.

"I found it!" Willow exclaimed.

"Found what?" Buffy asked confused.

Spike and Angel walked out of the living and stared at Willow like she had three heads. Amber was stand behind Buffy staring intently at Willow.

"The spell that can make Angel human," Willow answered. 


	10. Chapter 10

**_A/N: Ok I realized that chapter 9 was incredibly lame and I lost some of my readers but I'm back with another update so guys please review! Reviews are good. I hope you enjoy this one. It has a lot of twists and turns but enjoy it. _**

Chapter 10

They entered the room a still silence hung in the air. Angel and Spike exchanged glances, as the only sound was everyone's breathing. Buffy walked down the rest of the stairs and took the paper from Willow.

"Can it be really true?" Buffy asked looking at the paper. "I mean if it was just that easy then why didn't we try a spell when Angel and I were together?"

Spike let out a growl at the thought of Angel and Buffy together. Amber looked over at Spike a little frightened. She had no idea what was going on. She was only five years old and she looked just as lost and confused as any five year old would.

"Well things have changed since then," Willow answered. "We didn't know if there was a spell out there, but now we know and I think that's how Spike was made human in the first place."

"But who could have done the spell?" Buffy asked. "Giles was too busy doing research on the prophecy and Spike was too busy trying to get a job. You were planning the wedding with Tara. I mean we all were too busy to be doing the spell."

"I did it," Dawn said from behind them. "I found it one day when I was helping researching the prophecy. I figured it would help Buffy out if Spike could go out in the daylight."

"Dawnie, this is a very powerful spell," Willow said concerned. "You have to have some major witching power for something like this,"

Dawn shrugged and picked up Amber. She sat down on the steps and looked at everyone. She let out an unneeded breath and kissed Amber on the head.

"Wait, how would it help me?" Buffy asked confused. "I didn't find out I was pregnant until the day Spike turned human."

"Mom visited me one night when I was sleeping," Dawn answered. "She told me that you were expecting and she was really hated the fact she would have to miss it. She told me there was one book that Giles had that could solve your problem. So I got the book and I found the spell. I grabbed the supplies and left the money on the counter."

"So that's where the money came from," Willow said relived then saw everyone's glare.  She shut her mouth and let Dawn continued.

"I waited until Buffy and Spike went out patrol," Dawn continued. "I had heard them two nights before so I knew the deed was done."

The blood rushed to Buffy's cheeks and Spike cleared his throat letting everyone know how uncomfortable he was.

"I wasn't sure it worked until two days later and Spike actually had human color to him," Dawn added.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Buffy asked. "Everyone spent nights researching. I was so worried maybe someone was trying to take Spike away from me."

"You didn't tell me that, love," Spike, said concerned.

Spike walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her slender waist. He was still amazed how her body had returned to its incredible firm form. It still surprised him that his desire for her had doubled.

It had been five long years lost and confused until he finally got her back. He finally got his life back on track and he realized his body missed her petite form. If he could he would ravish her here and now if there were no one around.

Buffy stiffened when she felt Spike's hardness press against her butt. She held back her squeak, but she had to admit she missed her husband's sexual appetite. He had been wonderful in bed and always left her longing for more.

She thanked the heavens above for his ability to recover quickly. It was like he was sixteen-year-old boy except even now as he was human he recovered quite quickly for a man of his age. Of course she had only been with him once and she didn't know if he could go all night long like he used to, but she was determined to find out.

Everyone was staring at them wondering what exactly attracted him or her to each other. Even now, they found themselves locked together no matter if it was in arms or other body parts. They were locked together and forever if it was possibly.

Willow decided to get back on subject and looked at Dawn.

"Dawnie, this kind of magic could be deadly," Willow warned. "How did you do it?"

"I used my key energy," Dawn answered with a shrug.

Everyone gasped, except for Amber and Dawn. Buffy stared worriedly over at her baby sister. She definitely could have got herself killed and it would have been her fault. Even if Vampires couldn't reproduce, she still should have used protection. Plus she was on birth control.

"Nibblet, you do realize you were walking into deadly territory with that?" Spike asked in a fatherly tone.

"I've done it before," Dawn answered simply.

"YOU WHAT!?" Buffy roared sending Amber into a crying frenzy.

 Spike, reluctantly, let go of Buffy's waist and took Amber from Dawn. He cradled her in his arms like she was a baby. Buffy smiled and a sudden thought hit her.

_Maybe, we should have another one,_ Buffy thought. _Maybe it would be a little boy for Spike to do all the manly things with, like playing catch and he could teach how to play football. _

Spike looked up at Buffy and saw a wistful smile on her face as her gaze was settled on them. It reminded him of his dream and sent chills down his spine. He didn't want anything to happen to Buffy, Dawn, or Amber. They were his girls and his life. _His World_.

Dawn got up from the stairs and walked over to Angel. Her hazel eyes were full of regret. He hated it when he saw any type of pain in her eyes no matter if it was small. Pain was pain it was that simple.

Willow, realizing the door was still opened, closed it and looked at Dawn and Angel. She motioned them into the living room to leave Buffy and Spike alone.

"I miss this," Spike said with a sad smile on his face.

Buffy snapped out of the image of Spike playing with a little boy with brown hair and resembling his handsome father.

"You miss what?" Buffy asked distant.

Stupid question, as she realized what he meant. He was talking about holding a baby to cradle. He lost the chance when Riley stormed into their bliss full lives and trampled it into the ground. She was thankful Riley was dead or she would have killed him with her bare heads.

"I missed being a new father," Spike whispered putting Amber on her feet. She scrambled into the living room and hoping next to Willow.

"Do you want another one?" Buffy asked bluntly.

Spike snapped his attention towards Buffy. The look of shock on his face that slowly transformed to a gentle smile as he looked back at her.

"I wasn't sure if I should bring it up," Spike said softly. "I've wanted another one since the moment Xander and Anya told us that they were having another one."

Buffy walked over to Spike and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled him to her in a slow and gentle kiss. But Spike, being the way he was, turned it into a heated and passionate one. His tongue danced with hers and he kissed her like he never kissed her before. He was tasting her and yearning for her.  He expressed it in his kiss.

Buffy pulled back to catch her breath. His arms slid around her and he drew her close. He was still panting as he laid his forehead against hers.  His deep penetrating blue eyes stared at her intently.

"So, when should we start trying?" Spike asked softly.

Buffy calculated her cycle and counted her fetal days. She realized now was the best time then ever to start trying.

"Hey, Will," Buffy said turning her head to look at the read. "Would you take Amber for the day? I have things to do."

Willow eyed the couple suspiciously and rolled her eyes knowing exactly what they were doing. They wanted their 'alone time'. For who knows how long they would be at the 'alone time'. So she agreed and scurried everyone out of the house. She tossed a blanket at Angel so he could leave the house.

Once everyone left, Spike and Buffy didn't waste a second. They raced up the stairs as they discarded their clothes and fell on the bed to make love endlessly.

Willow sighed as she looked at, what seemed to be the hundredth bridal magazine. Dawn was taking this wedding thing seriously. Of course, she didn't blame her. She was still amazed how Dawn had changed since that horrible and joyous year. She had to remind herself that Dawn was acting like any twenty-two year old woman who was a bride to be.

Angel sat in the green over stuffed chair sound asleep with Amber curled up in his lap sleeping. He was slightly snoring. HE WAS SNORING!

Willow looked alarmed at Angel then looked over at Dawn. She seemed fixated writing down several types of dresses. She had four pages worth all ready and she was determined for more.

"You did the spell didn't you?" Willow whispered harshly.

Dawn looked over at her alarmed. Her eyes were big and her mouth was a gaped.

"No," Dawn answered. "After I did the spell, I had brought it back and I lost it. I thought there was no hope for Angel."

"Well then why is Angel snoring?" Willow asked.

Dawn looked over at Angel as she watched him intently. Her eyes grew wide as his chest raised and fell in a slight motion. She swallowed the lump in her throat and got up from the green leather couch. She walked over to him and placed her hand over his heart. Tears began to well in her eyes as she felt his heart beat.

"I can't believe this," Dawn whispered. "Angel is really alive."

Buffy snuggled close in Spike's arms. She was right. The man had not lost his edge. He still could recover in unremarkable speed. She couldn't help, but wonder if it was the vampire part of him that still existed in him.

"Bloody hell, pet," Spike groaned. "I swear I thought you were going to kill me at least a dozen times."

"Well it would have been a hell of a way to go," Buffy joked.

Spike chuckled and kissed her on the head. He loved this woman more emotion than his heart could hold. He couldn't help, but feel his body drawn to her since the moment he saw her dancing in the Bronze.

"Lately, Spike, my mind keeps drifting to the day you proposed to me," Buffy said distantly as her mind drifted to the moment she saw his joy pass through his face when he saw her.

Spike kept quiet to let Buffy speak her mind. She knew when she had something on her mind she needed to get it out.

"I remember my heart swelling with love when she told me that you kept going back to the night trying to save me. I think the moment when I really truly fell in love with you was when I found out you let glory beat you to a pulp. I couldn't believe that anyone would care enough or be stupid enough to let someone torture them that much. Riley and Angel would have given up after an hour, but you just kept it in," Buffy continued.

"Well, love, there is a difference between them and I," Spike said putting his chin on her head. "I love you more than my own life. Plus, I would never leave your side."

"Well that a good…"

The phone ringing interrupted the nice silence of the house. Buffy sighed and pushed the covers off. She didn't even bother with the robe. She raced through the hallway and down the stairs to the living room to answer the phone naked.

"Hello?" Buffy said out of breath.

"Buffy, it's Will," Willow said on the other line. "Something freaky has happened. Angel is alive. He is still sleeping right now, but Dawnie and I realized he was snoring."

"What's so freaky about that?" Buffy asked. "Angel always snored."

"No, he's breathing and he has a heart beat," Willow pressured. "He's human, Buffy and none of us did the spell."

"That means someone else knew about the spell," Buffy guessed slowly. "Oh great with the Drusilla in town this really can't be a good sign."

"I don't like this," Willow said concerned. "I don't like this one bit."

Buffy sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Her head was pounding and she was still a little achy from the intense lovemaking. She wasn't in the mood for something like this. She just wanted to be alone with Spike and have a blissful day.

"Neither do I, but there isn't anything we can do," Buffy said. "Look, I'll patrol tonight since Angel is human now, and I don't know if Spike still has his vampire strength."

"You mean you haven't been testing him out for the past four hours," Willow teased.

"It's been four hours!" Buffy exclaimed. "I thought it had only been two. I mean we just…never mind. I'm sure you don't want to hear the details."

"Thank you for sparing what clean brain I had left," Willow said softly. "I won't contact you again unless it's an emergency. I promise, I'll call Xander and tell him not to phone you."

"Thanks, Will," Buffy thanked. "Now get off the phone so I can rush back to Spike."

"Ok little miss sassy pants."

"I'm not wearing clothes, Will."

"Ok too much information, Buffy. Goodbye."

"Bye, Will."

Buffy hung up the phone and raced back up the steps. She was disappointed when she saw Spike wasn't in bed. She started pouting and she sat down on the bed. She stared at her nightstand and saw her necklace with her wedding ring and engagement ring. Then it hit her. Spike hadn't been wearing his wedding ring.

"Spike," Buffy called.

He walked out of the bathroom in his naked glory in front of her. Her eyes drifted to his right hand. She was right his wedding and wasn't on his hand.

"What's wrong, love?" Spike asked.

"Your wedding band," Buffy said simply.

"What about it?"

"It's gone."

"What?"

"You aren't wearing your wedding band."

Spike's eyes drifted to his hand and his eyes grew wide. He cursed and looked over at Buffy. She had her rings in her hand.

"Wanna buy other ones?" Spike asked.

"What!? No!" Buffy said jumping up from the bed. "Those were our original wedding rings. You gave it to me before Amber was born. I adore these wedding rings. Nothing ever could replace them."

 "Easy, pet," Spike said walking over to Buffy. He rubbed her shoulder and kissed her forehead.

"I might as well be a poof about this. Will you remarry me, Buffy?"

"You're joking," Buffy said staring at him stunned.

"I'm deadly serious," Spike answered. "We haven't really had much of a marriage before captain cardboard came in and ruined it. I want to renew our wedding vows and make sure nothing ever comes between us and our semi-blissful and normal life."

"I don't know if…"

"Don't bloody tell me, you don't feel the way you used to."

"Of course, I do! I love you more then anything. I was pain for five long miserable years finding out that the man I thought was dead, was actually alive and wondering around this earth."

"Well, pet, I'm sorry if I had no sodding idea who I was. Why are you so hesitant?

Buffy looked at Spike with her green eyes full of tears. Her chin was quivering and when she closed her eyes a tear trickled down her cheek.

"Because if we get remarried someone will come in and take you away from me again. I can't handle losing you again."

"Buffy, love, you can't lose me. I will find my way back to you. No matter how long I will be away I will always end up back with you."

She licked her lips and leaned up. He captured her face his hands and he kissed her. His hands drifted from her face to her arms and he pulled her closer.

"Willow, do you think Spike will go dress shopping with me tomorrow?" Dawn asked looking up from a boom she was reading.

Willow was so happy when Dawn decided to put away the bridal magazines and actually got out something more literary to read. Amber was wide awake now and coloring in some coloring books at the kitchen table. Tara was in the kitchen with Amber making dinner for everyone.

"I don't think so, Dawn," Willow answered carrying out a laundry basket full of unfolded clothes and towels.

"Why not?" Dawn asked.

"Because, He's a guy," Willow answered. "You know men. They hate shopping. They just stick it out because of us girls."

"Oh," Dawn said disappointedly. "I'm going to ask Spike to walk me down the aisle."

"WHAT!" Willow exclaimed.

"He's like the brother I never had and I figure he would be honored," Dawn explained.

"What about Giles?" Willow asked. "He was looking forward to walking you down the aisle. I think he thinks since now he's a part of the family that he would be the one to do it."

"Well, I had my heart set on Spike because he kind of like a father to me," Dawn said sheepishly. "I love Giles as a father too." She added.

"Dawnie, Spike is Angel's best man," Willow explained. "The groom's best man can't walk you down the aisle. Plus, Giles really needs this right now. He's been kind of in the mope world lately. I think he feels really old and useless right now."

"Maybe, we should set him up with a nice woman," Dawn suggested. "That way he could have a nice love life with and be less of a mope."

"But do we know any nice woman in their forties or fifties?" Willow asked.

Buffy awoke when she heard the door close. She sat up and looked over at the clock. It was only eight o'clock. She sighed and threw on her robe. She looked over at Spike and smiled. He really did look like an angel, but he snored, like he was now, it made her giggle. He was cute when he snored.

"Buffy? Spike? Dawn?" a voice called.

Buffy stiffened when she heard the voice. It was so familiar, but it couldn't be who she thought it was. She reached over and pushed Spike off the bed. She knew it wouldn't wake him up if she shook him so she had decided on something more dramatic.

"Bloody Hell, love!" Spike groaned looking over the bed at her. He looked incredibly tired. He pulled himself up with the help of the bed.

"Spike? Buffy? Is anyone home?" The voice called again.

He looked over at them door then at Buffy. He grabbed his pajama pants and threw them on. He grabbed Buffy's hand and headed out of the room.

"Is someone here?" the voice called again.

Spike crept down the stairs and stopped abruptly, causing Buffy to run into him.  There were footsteps coming out of the kitchen and he saw a shadow. Both of them still as they saw the person emerge from the dining room and look at them. The person smiled.

Buffy gripped onto Spike so she wouldn't pass out. He wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Well there you two are," The person said with the smile on their face. "I guess I was interrupting something important."

Dawn about jumped out of her skin when she heard Willow's phone ring. Tara raced into the living room from the kitchen with a towel in her hand. She picked it up and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Glenda," Spike said on the other line.

"Oh hi Spike," Tara greeted. "Is something wrong?"

"No nothing is wrong," Spike answered. "I just need everyone to meet back at my place. We have a little surprised for them."

"Is it an emergency?"

"No. Like I said nothing is wrong, but trust me you guys would want to see who paid a visit."

"All right, Spike."

She said goodbye to Spike and hung up the phone. She looked over at Dawn and sighed.

"There is a scooby meeting tonight," Tara explained. "Spike says there is this big surprise at the house."

Dawn booked marked her book and sighed. Something was definitely wrong when Spike calls a scooby meeting during his romping time with Buffy.

Dawn walked into the house holding Amber's hand. Amber was extra sleepy and was rubbing her eyes. Angel rubbed Dawn's back as they walked into the living room the stopped. Her eyes went wide and her breath was caught in her throat. Buffy was sitting next to Spike cuddled in his arms sobbing. To her guess sobbing with joy.

"Mom?" Dawn asked faintly.

Joyce turned and smiled at Dawn. Her eyes drifted down towards Amber. Amber looked frightened at the old woman and ran to Spike and Buffy. Spike scooped her up and held her on his lap.

"Hey gang-a-roos, so what so…merciful Zeus!" Xander said standing behind Dawn. It wasn't long before the whole scooby gang stood into the living room staring at Joyce in shock.

Giles pushed through the stunned scoobies and walked towards Joyce. She walked towards him and threw her arms around him. They embraced and then Giles kissed her.


End file.
